A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend, we've only been together a month, but we're really into each other or at least I think he's really into me. I mean, he asked if I would participate in having a threesome. Not a normal threesome. He just wants to have 2 girls give him a blow job. I am not too keen on the whole idea, I mean who wants to see another chick giving their boyfriend oral sex? He keeps asking me about it, but when I ask him if we can have a threesome with another guy or a foursome, he says no, he doesn't want to see another guy have sex with me. He kind of seems selfish. I kinda thought about it, but I was gonna give him the ultimatum of giving up a friend of his who happens to be a girl and an ex-girlfriend of his. I think it's fair. What do you guys think? Any suggestions would be appreciated!!
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blow-job, ex girlfriend, oral sex, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 Its a good thing you found out when you did. It's jerks like this who give us guys bad publicity.
You should have kicked him in the nuts before you left.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice, but nevermind. I just found out an hour ago, that he apparently has a girlfriend whom he has been with for about 6 years. This is the "best friend" he told me about!! This is some Jerry Springer crap!! How stupid. She says she still wants to be with him...I'm not even upset. I knew he was hiding something from me. Another one bites the dust I guess
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010): i don't think its a wise idea. One month is too short to engage in such an activity. How do you know that he really loves you. I even think he is unfair because why he want to have the experience and donot want to allow you the same.
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A
female
reader, ashlydance33 +, writes (9 March 2010):
 The naked truth is that he just has no love or respect for you if he keeps pushing your boundries. When a guy doesn't understand that no means no, it's a sign to stay far away. I'm repeating what everyone else is saying, this guy is bad news and you deserve better this.
Please listen to us, it's good advise.
You guys are not a perfect fit if he tries to force you to compromise on one of your boundries.
Eyeswideopen has a very good point(as does everyone else) Recognize this guy for what he is: A player. Don't fall for his games.
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (9 March 2010):
 I dont think he's "really into you", i think he's really into the idea of getting a threesome and thinks he's close to getting it...
If its not something you want to do (and I wouldnt either) just tell him that, end of matter. I wouldnt try any of the ultimatums, or headgames, theyre childish and neither of you is going to end up with what you want.
Good luck, I hope he stops pressuring you about it soon!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 March 2010):
 You are going to have a lot of heartache ahead if you can't tell a player when you see one, especially at your age. Wise up chickie.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 He is more than 'selfish', the more here is 'jealous', You have rightly test his 'jealous psychology', and simple advise for you here is: QUITE HIM RAPIDLY...AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.
He is into vulgar exhibition of sex act only. But, think you have sound mind, capable for sound judgment.
A relationship is most important element in person's life. Bad choice of person can ruin all life, and many time inflict UN-repairable damage.
Threesome-as a sexual play demand most sound emotional character, and more knowledge, specific about 'eroticism'. Even though, Threesome can ruin mutual trust, and damage couple relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. These are all fears and questions I had for myself. I brought all of this up to him and he says it isn't the same thing because it's oral. I told him if i was to do it, then I know that the relationship will change. In my heart I know that I would break up with him or worse go cheat on him behind his back. I don't want to cheat on him. I don't want to have a threesome even with another guy. I just want to have sex with him, but he doesn't get that. He says he thinks I'm the one for him because we're a perfect fit, but obviously not if he wants to bring in another party. I've tol him no before and he keeps asking!! So frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (9 March 2010):
This guy is going to use you then ditch you quite quickly. He is not serious about you. Only a month as your boyfriend and he is already disatisfied with you and wants to bring in another person before you are both fully into each other?? Dont listen to how much he says he loves you; men take about 3 to 6 months to be totally in love with someone. At this early stage, you will do what he wants then he will ditch you and move on to another victim.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 you might be really into him, but he isnt really into you.
He is selfish, he isnt interested in you being sexually comfortable or satisfied, he sounds ikky
For him to ask you to do this after only a month of dating indicates to me a lack of respect for you, he is only interested in himself.
Only heartache will come from you complying with his requests.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (9 March 2010):
you might be really into him, but he isnt really into you.
He is selfish, he isnt interested in you being sexually comfortable or satisfied, he sounds ikky
For him to ask you to do this after only a month of dating indicates to me a lack of respect for you, he is only interested in himself.
Only heartache will come from you complying with his requests.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (9 March 2010):
Hes in fantasy land. Dont do this unless its really what you want to do.
He says to you he doesnt want to see anyone else having sex with you, just tell him thats how you feel about it, you dont want to see anyone else having sex with him (oral included).
If he thinks anything of you, he should back down otherwise find someone who appreciates you and doesnt want to use you.
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