A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm after so advise,I'm very confused I was seeing this guy since 2010 with him moving in with me, anyway 2013 he moved to another place out of town with me saying I think he had met someone else,we carried on speaking never saw each other tho, then September 2015 he compleaty stopped speaking to me where I was kinda forgetting about him , Feb 14th this year he randomly msg me again saying he still likes me and wants to move bk hear. End of September we finally met up again and he's been down a few times since then but still goes bk at nite so never spends more then a day with me. I yet again ask if he's with anyone which he says no which makes me think he does like me. But this is where I don't belive him aswell my friend saw him in three town he moved to a couple of months ago with a baby a lady and two older children which I know Is his as the lady called out the boys name and surname which is same as his ..I've conducted homeground about this and he always denies it. And just says why would I still speak to you if I was with someone. I always say if ur with someone else don't bother speaking to me . This weekend he even said about coming on holiday with me if u found somewhere cheap but I know he's playing with my head but what more can I do?? I've started to have feelings again for him since seeing him again and my little Girl henhoys his company and always askes about him. Any advice would be very great full Thankyou
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 November 2016):
 It is not fair on you or your daughter to continue to see him. You know deep down that he is lying to you and that he is in a relationship and has a child. Stop being the other woman. Tell him it is over and block him from contacting you.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (30 November 2016):
 If you were reading your post from someone else, what would you advise them?
This guy is not messing with your head; he is simply using and abusing you. Wake up and realise you are worth so much more than he is prepared to offer.
You already know in your heart what you need to do but you are scared to do it. Why? Do you believe that any man (even one who offers so little) is better than temporarily not having a man at all? You know that is rubbish.
I can promise you this: if you take a stand, tell him you have decided enough is enough and you deserve a lot more (and mean it and don't let him sweet talk you out of your decision), he will either (a) get his act together and realize he needs to treat you better or lose you, or (b) he will go and find someone else to use and you will be free to find someone who treats you with love and respect, not as an afterthought.
Make 2017 YOUR year. Have a clear-out of everything which does not make you happy, including this abusive relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2016): If you know all this, how is he playing with your head? You know the guy has another woman and kids, and all you have to do is cut him off, block him, and forget him. Yeah, you go through some withdrawal-symptoms and feel like crap after you do this. But what are you going through now?
Girlfriend, please?!! Don't be a drama-queen! You've got more than enough evidence to bring this drama to conclusion.
You're torturing yourself by not letting go, and blaming it on him. You're in denial and your ego won't let you listen to your common-sense. Nobody's messing with your head. You're not listening to what your eyes, ears, and brain are telling you.
Why did you come to a website asking for advice when you already know what you have to do? You're an intelligent and independent grown-woman. You don't need the advice or permission from a bunch of strangers. Maybe just a little push!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 November 2016):
 Do yourself and you daughter a favor and cut this man off.
He treats you like a revolving FWB - when he wants something he will be in contact, when he has stuff to do he won't.
Why are you settling for this?
So WHAT if he suggested a vacation? IF you KNOW he has a wife/GF and kids why are you even still talking to him?
I don't understand this. I can't count how many times I see here on DC women who KNOW they are being used asking for help how to fix things... when the EASY fix is to CUT him out and look for a guy who WANTS to be with you ALL the time, not just when it's convenient.
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