A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We'll call him *Dave*He's going to get engaged to his girlfriend but I think she's more interested in the ring. He's only 17 but he's really devoted to her.I've had past relationships which have been abusive and very unbareable as one ex boyfriend tried to reanact horror movie scenes on me...But I talked to Dave about it and I've never met someone so caring. He held me and told me that he's going to make sure nothing like that happens to me again.I have really strong feelings for him... I think I may be falling in love... I don't want to though.. But he keeps texting me and saying that I'm a great person and that he really enjoys talking to me. And when his gf wasn't there, he hugged me really tight saying that I was really pretty and that I deserved someone so much better.I'm so confused... I just want him to be happy... I can't stop thinkin about him though.I realise I can't be with him... He loves her. But I really can't take my mind off him.Please help... I'm really upset.
View related questions:
engaged, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): you probably feel an attachment to this guy because he is a nice guy and you have been misused. There are plenty of decent nice caring guys out there so dont get hung up over this one who is currently in a relationship
A
female
reader, agony_emz  +, writes (9 May 2007):
 awwww i feel for you i have been in your position once and yet its really upsetting, and where he says that your really pretty and things like, he's just being a good friend! what i had to realise is that we cant always have who we want and that he is already in a relationship and happy, i may not be happy about it but i cared more about his happiness then what i wanted!! i really think you need to think it through and move on, now i have realised that i cant have who i want all the time and i realised that by thinking about him and seeing how happy he is!! and you need to do the same hun! its going to take time, it took me time but in the end you'll be fine!! and just look at it as another thing you have learnt from life!!
good luck x
...............................
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (9 May 2007):
 We all suffer from unrequited love at some point in our lives but it always feels like the pain is very personal. What makes your case different from most is the fact that he's getting married... maybe this will never happen, at 17 it's totally likely things will fall apart before they both get up the aisle but you're right to prepare yourself for this possibility. This guy is off limits and I'm not sure from your post whether you plan to respect those limits or are planning telling him how you feel. I think the best thing you could do for yourself is give yourself some space from this guy. Minimise all contact and get out there and try to meet other guys. They might not measure up but you'll see that there are other guys out there. It's sad when you meet someone too late but it's just something we have to accept. However hard it is to realise we have the power to make ourselves happy, we just need to seize it.
CD
...............................
A
male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (9 May 2007):
My recommendation is to take his compliments to heart, but not him. He's taken, and apparently very taken, even at that young an age. And as much as he may believe that he's in love with her, I'm not one to believe that someone that young understands love well enough to really know for sure. Not in this day and age at least, where childhood is extended well into the low 20s.
I find myself saying this a lot. Be single. You don't need a man to tell you that you're pretty, or to make you feel sexy, or desired. You need to spend time as a single person, improving yourself and building up your confidence. Achieve things, make goals and reach them. Love will follow more naturally after that.
...............................
|
