A
female
age
30-35,
*uizic
writes:Okay so I just joined up wondering if I could get some advice. Me and a guy I've been talking to for about 6-7 years on the internet have recently become more... involved I guess you'd say. We've never done anything like cyber or all that jazz but we've always joked about getting married and how much of a great couple we'd make since we do nothing but play games together and watch movies on xbox, etc. and how alike we are. We took a short break from eachother though for about a year or more when I started dating a guy here but it ended in disaster and when I went to talk to him again he was elated and so happy I was back to talk to him and how much he missed me and he was determined to be the next one in my life. Now we've planned a trip for him to come down here to see me next month. I know he really cares and we both want this to work well for both of us and it makes me feel special that he's going to come to another country just for me for one week. The only problem is that I've heard people say it's a bad idea and it'll never work and when I was listening to a relationship advice radio station one night on my way home from work they said it's not normal for people to hook up over the internet and that it's not mentally healthy or some crap. All I know is we make eachother extremely happy when we're talking and interacting, is it a mistake? Is there something I should be worried about? Should I want a relationship with a man in another country? I know they say love knows no boundaries but as excited and happy as I feel there's a little part of me that keeps nagging.So what do you think? And sorry for the lengthy explination, I tried to cut it down to the basics but there's just so much to explain :\
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female
reader, Quizic +, writes (13 January 2010):
Quizic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we have it pretty well planned out. He's going to be staying in a hotel that's just down the road from me and he has enough money to support himself while he's here and then some for spending, we know that. We're not planning anything serious, we're just really excited to meet and I think we both feel that we really want things to be more serious. Plenty of my friends and my mom and stuff are all excited to meet him because I've told them about him before but this is his first time visiting.
I was just worried with people saying (not particularly to me but in general) it's weird to meet people on the internet and of course the ones who are saying there's something mentally wrong with it. I don't think there's anything psychologically wrong with me lol. It just feels like I've known him for so long that it would be wrong to turn a chance like this down. Especially when there could be something there.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (12 January 2010):
 It might work, I know of two couples who met over the internet, married, and at least 7 years down the track are still as happy and the proverbial pigs in muck.
I know another who married and it ended in disaster. I know some who met and never got to the marriage stage.
The only bit that worries me is the fact he is from another country. Canada, and maybe some other western countries wouldn't be a problem but if from a country from where it is difficult to emigrate to the states through the normal channels it could be a bit difficult.
I am hoping you have discussed your plans with a adult whose opinions you value and trust. I hope you are planning to take things very slowly, I hope you are planning to introduce him to your family and friends, and that he has no expectations of this visit to you other than to see how things go.
Keep yourself safe. Be cautious until you suss out the situation. Make sure he has enough money to keep himself while he is here, and if you dont live at home anymore dont have him move in with you while he is here. Arrange other accommodation for him, either at a friends or in a cheap hotel.
Good luck with it all,
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