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female
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anonymous
writes: I am seventeen years old. I have a problem and I don't know what to do about it.I am friends with a nice boy. He's a really genuine boy and he is a really good friend to me. We get on really well and always have got on really well since we became friends almost a year ago. I enjoy his company.One of my mates is crushing really hard on this boy. She's crazy in love with him. She's trying to pluck up the courage to ask him out.But, I think he only sees her as a friend. Because I've got the feeling that he likes ME. He's always really friendly with me. He treats me really well and is always there for me. I had a steady boyfriend for a few months. But we've broken up. And ever since that I've found that (at least I think) he's been flirting with me.I don't know how I feel about him really. Well, he is a really nice boy but I couldn't see myself ever dating him. don't fancy him. But he is so nice.I have a feeling that he is going to try to ask me out one of these days and I don't know what I should do! Should I avoid him so as not to give him the impression that I'm interested? I don't really want to avoid him though as I want to be friends. But a teeny teeny part of me would say yes if he asked me out. But my mate would be gutted. What am I going to do about the situation?
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reader, pops +, writes (4 September 2005):
Talk to the boy about how your friend feels towards him, and how devasting it would be to her if you agreed to go out with him. Maybe encourage him to ask your friend out. If they go out, they will find out if they really have anything in common, and if not, your friend will get over him. Then that little part of you that wants to say yes, can do so. If they hit it off, then be happy for them both. When it comes to relationships, if you have any doubts about your feelings about someone, or his about you, then put on the breaks. Something is not right( which is different from being " wrong "), and if you give yourself time, you figure it out.
A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (4 September 2005):
Talk to your friend. Ask her if she would like you to put in a good word for her, to see if he is interested in her. You could be the match maker here. If you do this you will be giving him the message that you don't really fancy him yourself. If he's not interested in her then you can carry on being friends with him anyway and you may or may not start to fancy him a bit more.
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A
female
reader, lulu +, writes (4 September 2005):
Just wait and see what happens. It is a proven fact that when we know someone is attracted to us we 'seem to have feelings for them that we wouldnt normally'. This is known as fear of rejection. Maybe you are convincing yourself that you fancy this guy because you are sure he holds strong feelings for you and he will not turn you down or gurt you unlike your ex. He seems to be dependable,loyal and great company. Would you want to ruin your special friendship with him?
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