A
female
age
36-40,
*azed & Confused
writes:I feel that the guy I'm currently dating doesn't spend enough time with me. I only see him once a week for about four hours and I feel that this little time isn't enough. He's a full time student who is about to graduate, and I understand he's busy with classes, but he always seems to have time for his friends. He always goes on about how busy he is, and when I ask what he does, he always tells me about how he had to help out friends, or just hang out with them, etc. We've been dating for about four months now, how should I approach him with this issue? Do I even have the right to ask for more time with him? I don't want him to feel like I'm telling him how to spend his time... How do I ask?Help? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dazed & Confused +, writes (21 May 2008):
Dazed & Confused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Les.You were right. His classes were stressing him out. I also realized that he was spending so much time with friends because they're all leaving after graduation. We spoke and he says he wants to spend time with me, and he will as soon as all his classes are over.I hope your situation works out too! Thanks!
A
female
reader, les +, writes (19 May 2008):
I know what you're going through, I've just been/still am in the same situation.
First, wait for his classes to be over. He's prob stressed and hanging out with friends b/c there's no emotions involved with them as opposed to you. After I kept badgering my bf about it, he basically said, you make me too emotional and I cant deal with that right now.
After his classes are over, then sit down to him and explain to him that you realize he's stressed, has problems, whatever. As his gf, you care about him, not his issues, and if makes you hurt when he pulls away like that, so let him know that in the future, you would like to be able to be there for him and for him not to pull away. Tell him you dont want to be in a hot/cold, emotionally distant relationship, etc and you wont settle on it from him or anyone else.
If he really likes you, this will be his wakeup call. If he doesnt, he'll say screw that. If he does, be happy you found this out in 4 months instead of 8 like me.
Hope this helps.
...............................
|
