A
female
age
36-40,
*non777
writes:i have been with my partner for 2 years, i am madly in love with him and he knows this. i know he is not happy with how i look as he is always hinting that i am fat and he pressures me into doing things in my life i am not happy with, but i go along as i am scared of losing him. i am alot more confident than he is and i am 23 years his junior. i have droped from a size 16 to a size 10 in six months as i only eat when he is not here. please help me i want to keep this man but he needs to know that what he is doing is most likely going to damage me mentally and physically Reply to this Question
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female
reader, rorowes  +, writes (19 May 2008):
 A size 10 is great. I don't know what more you can do for him, but for yourself, get rid of him. Don't demoralize youself for anyone. You love the idea of him. Love is not doing things you don't want to do, in order to keep a person in your life. You have to love you first, and I think you're losing yourself in his fantasy world. Live your life for you, not him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Thank you waterloo susnset for your support regarding my advice. Maybe this lady will realise that there's two people on this earth that thinks she deserves better than she's currenty recieving
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Oh yea, I forget to say, you can mail me privately if you'd rather keep your secrets. I don't know you but I want the best for you. (can you say the same about your boyfriend)
I want you to strive to become the woman you deserve to become. I know you got strength and determination. I just don't know if you've got the willpower. Get in touch babes, let us know what's going on with you, what's in your head. We don't know who you are, you don't know who we are. We are a unique combination of different ages, races, and religions, we come from different countries and continents. We try not to judge, but always strive to help. If you contact us, we've got stories that will make your experience seem like a walk in the park. Get in touch babes, I'm worried and concerned about you, and your mental well being and physical health.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Thank you Waterloosunset for your kind words. (blushes) but the proof of the pudding is in the eating. Fine words are just fine words and aint worth a pinch of dust. I just hope I've done enough to encourage this lady to get in touch with us, and let the aunts and uncles support her and bring happiness to her life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): What a fantastic answer from DiovanLestat! There is nothing left to say, i couldnt put it a better way. Read it and take note. All i can add to it is, just dont put up with crap in your life, you deserve better
take care
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Do you really need my help. Looks like you've answered your own question.
First let me say congratulations on your weight loss, that takes a lot of hard work and determination. I bet your look fine and trim now, just need to get some new clothes and a new hairstyle to show it of to it's best. Well done (I'm a little bit over weight myself and haven't had your sucess)Anyway back to the question that you already answered.
(mmm, [ponders] ... damn, I'd love to be a size 10... then I could wear that nice dress to my cousins wedding)
You present aged over 21 and your from the UK. Good that means your over age, legal, and able to make your own choices and decisions in life. You love your partner very much. He's 23years older than you and he's jealous of your youth and confidence. (sorry, that's my take on the situation) Your scared of losing him, because your fit, trim, young and beautiful and he is a very old man, whose scared to lose you because he knows how lucky he is.
He constantly tells you how fat you are, even though you are below the UK average (size 14) and are a very acceptable size 10. You get so nervous around him you can't even eat, and have to hide yourself away like a vampire to get the food and substance you need. He dose not give you air, he hardly allows you food, he dose not tell you your beautiful and he generally makes you feel bad.
You want to be with this man, you love him and want to keep him, even though you know "what he is doing is most likely going to damage me both mentally and physically." He might leave you cause there are plenty of size 10, 21year old beauties like you that are just lusting after his saggy 42year old body. He's probably the first boyfriend you've had, but no many partner's you've had he's had 10x times more.
Your being abused baby, he wants to sap your confidence, steal your strength and your youth. He's not gonna damage you, the damage has already been done. You don't believe me. You've dropped from a size 16 to a size 10 in six months. The recommended healthy weight loss in the UK is 2lb's a week on a healthy diet coupled with exercise. Your looking at anorexia or bullemia baby. You so scared you can't even eat proper. That's not healthy, is this type of thing normal in your life, is that how you lived with your parents, is that how it is at holiday celebratons and family get together's, is this how you eat with your friends. You must have loved food once upon a time, you were a hearty, voluptous size 16, and sexy enough to turn his eye then. Do you hate food now because of this man. Baby he's inside your head and you gotta get him out.
Mentally, ah hell baby, I can only imagine the hell you've been under for the last 2 years being put down constantly by this control freak. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, all I can do is promise you that not everyone is like this, there are really nice people around who love you and accept you and would love to help, if only they could kill this bastard. If only would let them in. I bet your parents, freinds or family must be worried sick. Even your neighbours and work collegues must have noticed such a dramatic weight loss and change in personality. Your over age and legal, there's nothing but fear holding you back. I know you love him, but please remind me again, why are you with the SICK FREAK.
He'll never leave you, why would he. Where else would he get such a fine young thing such as you. No he'll stay for ever, cling on like the leach he is and sap you dry. I bet you don't laugh anymore, when's the last time you actually went out had a good time and felt good, I mean really good, not just "got put on a face and look happy good". You got friends, do you see them regularly. What dose your family say, do they like him.
You asked the question, you know the answers..... but you got me breathing fire now.... I'm hurting for you, I really am baby.
HE'S AN OLD SICK FUCK. DUMP HIM AND GO OUT AND FIND SOMEONE THAT GIVES YOU THE LOVE YOU DESERVE. Find someone that treats you right, or stay on your own, I bet there's things you've wanted to do but you just aint made the time for.
You don't believe me, take a look at this article http://www.dearcupid.org/question/warning-signs-youre-dating-a-loser.html
You love him, I know, but the question you should be asking is dose he treat you right, dose he make you feel good, dose he put a smile on your face. If the answer is no... Well you know what to do.
Your so young, it's not fair that you feel this way. He's had his youth, how dare he steal yours. How dare he try to hold you by destroying everything, everything (even food) that you hold dear.
Please, please write back. What are these things that he pressures you to do. Dose he hurt you, dose he force you, dose he keep nagging at you untill you give in. I hurt for you baby. Let me help........
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