A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi i am a 27 year old female getting married in a months time. i met this guy a year back and liked him, he proposed to me and we dated for 6 months before saying yes to the marriage. But I am very confused whether to get married or not as i like this guy but he is not all that i wanted or dreamt in a man!! i have been thinking about it for a long time but didnt say anything due to the fear of being alone and hurting him. also before him i used to like a guy who never showed intrest and now he's approached me once i was engaged. I am very confused as what to do as i have a months time before the wedding?????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, lakers_lover09  +, writes (21 January 2010):
I think the problem that all people has is that you never meet that perfect person..you jus meet that person who loves you enough to want to be that perfect person.. does he treat you well? are you attraced to him? does he worship the ground you walk on? if not ..he isnt right for you..if so maybe its the TIMING that isnt right for you..not the man...tell him you want to call off the wedding until you are sure..it'll sting em lol but this give you time to think and him time to think as well. after all, he could be thinking the exact same thing. good luck.
A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (20 January 2010):
 Don't marry him. I don't say this because he isn't the "perfect" man, I say this because you don't love him. You don;t marry a person because you like him. You are doing a disservice to both you and your fiance.On the other point, you will never find the perfect man. All men (and women have flaws). And before I get a bunch of hate male, flaws are not a bad thing. They are what makes each and everyone of us unique. Our individual quirks.I don't want you to settle on just anyone, but if you set the bar too high, you might be missing out on some pretty good men (quirks and all).Good Luck!Jeff
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): you HAVE to talk to him. im sure everyone gets a bit nervous before their wedding, "cold feet" if you like, but if you're having doubts about getting married a month before, it suggests that you are not ready and this isnt what you want. you said you dont want to hurt him but believe me, telling him now will hurt him alot less than if you leave it til a later date when its even closer to the wedding. as cheesy and cliche as it sounds, honesty is ALWAYS the best policy! its horrible to go through but its unfair on the both of you if you hide these feelings from him, and getting married to someone who you're not too sure about will probably be the biggest mistake of your life. dont do it to yourself! as for this other guy who has started showing signs that he likes you now your engaged.. thats a whole other issue but just be wary that hes genuine and dont let him affect your decision on what to do about your fiance. this is an important decision that you will have to live with so think about it carefully. wish you the best of luck, and remember, be completely honest about everything. you will feel so much better once its all been sorted out! x
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A
female
reader, AgonyAnne  +, writes (20 January 2010):
Tell him 100% sure, If your 100% sure that your not in love with him anymore getting marrieds gonna mess up your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): First off, delaying telling him is going to make things harder once you get closer to your soon to be "marriage". You need to be completely honest and straight up with this guy as to how you feel. Getting married with the doubts that you have in your mind would be one of the worst things you'd be doing because then you will have to live with it for the rest of your life. And what is it about this guy that you don't feel is within your dream man? Fear of being alone is not your biggest worry though; as many people in America and surrounding countries are alone. Yes, it's nice to have someone to share time with and have compansionship with, but then again there are others who are alone and dealing with life perfectly fine. It's not the worst thing in the world though. You need to sit down and really think this thru very fast and let him know because how would you feel if he in return didn't share anything with you? There goes the trust in your relationship and then that makes it harder to tell your partner something.
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