A
female
age
30-35,
*elladonna
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years. The first eleven months he lived in a different state and we stayed together through phone and internet but then he moved to live closer to me.Well, I, at that point, was seventeen and he was approaching thirty. I was a virgin and he clearly was not. I gave him my virginity and soon after moved in with him. He and I had sex at least three times daily, often more if I didn't have school.Now, nine months later, he and I never have sex anymore. He never has the mood. I ran through the general questions with him, "Are you still attracted to me?" "Can you get an erection?" and other things, he says he's still attracted and I've seen myself that he does get hard, he's just never in the mood for sex.I have an abnormally (or so he says) high sex drive, but then again, I'm still very young. It sometimes upsets him when I masturbate as often as I do.He and I have been discussing things and we know its healthy for slight loss of sex drive with age, but at thirty, he has none at all. He doesn't have erectile dysfunction, I think it would be easier if he did.We've come to an agreement, I won't ask him for sex and he won't get upset that I masturbate. But this temporary solution isn't enough for me.Is my boyfriend healthy? Are there any ways to fix it?Thank you.
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erection, in the mood, moved in, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 It's very unusual that a thirty year old man would lose his desire for a young sexual partner in less than a year. I suspect there are other problems, perhaps with his job? The age gap is a big big, and the fact that you were 17 when you met him is a bit abnormal too. Does he have abnormal desires? I'm kind of wondering if he only likes young girls, and you are getting too old for him, sorry, just an idea. It does sound like some kind of psychological problem, perhaps a madonna/whore complex, where he desired you until you became a domestic partner/mother figure? I'm thinking he needs more help than we could give you here.
BTW - Never ask a man "Can you get an erection?". No man that I know would ever want to hear that question coming from their lover. It's a touchy subject for a man, and even if you asked if in a technical way, having his very best interests at heart, he would find it humiliating and emasculating.
I hope something here was of help. XXX
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