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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is two years younger than me at 13 years old. In a few months I will be 16 and he will be 14 and a bit. He knows that I think it's important to be the legal age before you have sex and him being so much younger means that we've never gone that far before. However 10 months into our relationship, he has asked me if I want to have sex on my 16th birthday.I told him I'll think about it but it's been a week now and I don't know what to tell him. I love him so much and if he was 16+ aswell than I wouldn't hesitate to say yes but he isn't legal and at just under 2 years younger than me would i be taking advantage of him?He seems excited about the prospect but also nervous. I think he thinks that I will leave him if he won't but I would never do that. I wouldn't mind waiting until he's 16 but I don't know how to tell him this. And if we both want to and I am legal than would it be wrong?Please tell me what I should tell him. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): Go with what your heart tells you. Don't have sex.
To clarify, when he is 16 you will be 18. If you had sex, you would illegally be having sex with a minor. You could land yourself in trouble with the law.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, JGSM  +, writes (5 September 2009):
 It seems like you are hesitating, and that probably means that you aren't ready, because if you were you would not ask anyone else what to do, you would already know. And I'm a person who can't even date someone in my own age, at least a few years older, because of maturity and so on; I can't understand what you see in a thirteen year old boy? I mean I've heard of boys who like thirteen year old girls.. I don't think that's normal either but at least more normal In my mind. Have you never heard that "Girl are more mature then guys" quote. In that age? Haha.. well whatever, good luck.. love has nothing to do with age, but perhaps the thirteen year old bot can't see the differences between a crush and love? You know him better, do what you think is right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): It's never easy when you're in a relationship where one person wants sex and the other is unsure, or both want it but you're still uncertain. It's hard, but I think waiting til he's ready for sure would be best. I can understand your side of things too though, but if you care about him (and it seems you do) then waiting might be best. If you need to talk about it more or have other questions you can message me or anyone. I hope things go ok for you two.
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female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (31 August 2009):
 Just because YOU will be 16 doesnt mean that you can have, or are even READY to have sex.He is 14. That means he is still considered to be a child. IF you have sex with him, as you would be 16, (and over the legal age of consent) you could well be charged with indecent assault. http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/sex_relationships/sex/age_of_consent/You are both still very young, and have a lot of physical and emotional development to go through. What is wrong with waiting until you are BOTH ready?There is a nice quote on that weblink.."The law isn't there to make life difficult. It's there to protect us. Everyone is ready for sex at different ages. But the law has to generalise. To protect those who are most vulnerable, from exploitation"Think about it. DONT DO IT. WAIT. It will be worth it. You have a whole lifetime to have sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2009): It seems that you already know what you need to do: WAIT!It would be the right thing to do, you two seem to really care for one another, and the fact that you've been able restrain yourself from having sex is also a good thing. So try to wait it out a little longer, you don't want a good thing to turn into a horrible situation.Good luck:)
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