A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Okay, so I had went to a cousins funeral back in 2008.. Arrived back home and checked my myspace (back before I had facebook) I had an email from a guy saying here's my number I saw you at the funeral and thought you were cute.. Long story short.. We used to talk on the phone for hours and hangout.. When my mother found out who the guy was she didn't like itMe and her fussed like crazy! Come to find out the guy was like my 6th cousin.. No one in my family has ever figured out how we were "kin".. I fell in LOVE in 2009 with himand its 2011 now and I'm still in love with him.. We date seperate people now, but still talk.. We are stuck and want to be together, but my mom won't let us.. His parents are wonderful they approve.. My best friend says I just need to tell my mom and just get over it, by the way I'm 19 soon to be 20.. I don't know what to do!?!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (12 November 2011):
If you know that you're related then someone has done a ton of work on your family tree, because that's an amazingly distant relationship.
The number on 'n' cousin means how far back you have to go to find the common blood-ancestor. A first cousin means that the common ancestor is a grandparent, a second cousin means great-grandparent, and so on. So we're talking a five-times great grandparent as the link here. That's so distant as to be meaningless.
Your mother must have some other issue with this guy.
A
female
reader, ScaredForLove +, writes (12 November 2011):
I agree with the other two answers. You are over 18, your mom cannot tell you what to do anymore. (She may be able to limit things if you live in her house) If you love him and he loves you, then you should be together. It might cause issues in youre family. But like everything else, people will get over it and accept you and him no matter- if they love you. Well hope I was able to help :) Good luck!
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A
male
reader, lakers_lover09 +, writes (12 November 2011):
From what I've heard a 6th cousin is usually so far removed that they are almost not family. For what its worth, in ancient egypt, pharoahs customs were they would marry their sisters, aunts, and step mothers and they were considered prestigious leaders. If I knew a person who was dating a sixth cousin, I personally dont think that it would be even worth mentioning that they are a sixth cousin because it isnt of much significance in my opinion. The real problem is with your current bf. It will be hard to love him when you love another. Think it over and remember, nobody has to live with either decision but you, so screw what the others think. Good luck
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 November 2011):
you are over 18... it may cause a riff with mom but she'll get over it...
go to google and find the laws on cousins marrying... show her that second cousins and below are legal...
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (12 November 2011):
There is absolutely no reason why they two of you should not be together if you love each other and are not involved with any other parties.
Prince William and Princess Catherine in England are 14th cousins removed.
They share a common ancestor. The Fairfax family.
Royalty have always intermarried with distant cousins families.
Talk to him. explain to your partners that this is a love you cannot ignore. You clearly feel deeply drawn to each other. Don't fight it. This is possibly meant to be.
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