A
female
age
36-40,
*isk_ann
writes:So a little background info: Me and my husband, a US Marine, are both 19, and we got married this year in a quick ceremony. Four days before we got married, I found out (thru snooping in his email that he gave me the password to) that he cheated on me with a girl who lives close to where he is stationed at.He said that they only kissed, but they were saying "I love you" to eachother in thier emails.I decided to forgive him because I love him and he had stopped talking to her a few months before because she felt bad for cheating on her girlfriend (did I mention she is a lesbian?).So we get married, and we're more than fine, we're better than we have been for a while for the next few months.Then I noticed that we've basically stopped having sex when he's home, and last weekend, when I went to log into my email, I couldn't b/c all the history and cookies on the computer had been deleted.I find this a little weird b/c my husband doesn't really know how to do anything on the computer except play games and check his email. Well, I log into my email and I save some pics that were sent to me, only to see that there is a picture with a very disgusting pornographic title invovling a 13 year old girl saved in our pictures folder.So I download one of those programs that let you look at the deleted internet history, only to find that my husband was looking at porn sites with "teen" in the title, and a few clicks around an adult "friend finder" site.So what do I do?I know I should talk to him about it, but how? We're both 19, so him looking at porn is fine, but usually we do it together but he did it while I was sitting on the couch across the room. If he wanted to have sex, then he could of came over to me...But since he was looking at "teen" sites, does that mean he might be a pedophile? I think that's one of the things I'm most scared of, since I do want to have children someday...Sorry if this was long, but I don't know how to handle this...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Ohh My God, Not meaning to be harsh to you but have you got a brain to think for yourself? Get him away from you, Paedeophiles aren't just people who lok at obscene sexual pictures of young children, they ARE PERMANENTLY MESSed up in the brain. Why would you put yourself through this, you need to pick up your chin, have a bit of self dignity and respect for others you ae putting at risk by letting this animal walk about everyday. And don't think I've "misunderstood" you or am "Slighlty Over Exaggerating" as I'd rather be safe than sorry about this piece of shit, you have control over whether he ever gets the chance to follow through on his sick fantasies it's about time you stop worrying about your dead-end relationship(with a peadeophile may I point out 1 last time), and start taking other peoples safety into consideration.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 November 2007):
 If he's leaving fairly soon. I would have you little talk with him before hand. If this isn't settled it's going to take the jealousy, insecurity, and wondering to an accelerated level. What I'm worried about for you if it's not taken care of, I don't believe their society has such a high age limit as we do.
I rather him leave with you knowing where he stands with all that and remind him even though you're in two separate places for a while, that doesn't devalue the importance of your marriage.
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A
female
reader, risk_ann +, writes (10 November 2007):
risk_ann is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease don't give me the "you're too young" lecture b/c I've heard it all before and I don't really find that is pertains to giving me advice about my current situation.
I think that since my husband is an Infantry Marine, he's going to go thru more than you're average 19-20something when he leaves for Iraq, and we're both prepared for that.
Thanks for taking your time to read and respond thou.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): You probably don't want to hear this but it's almost always a bad idea for people younger then 22 or so to get married. People just change so much between 19 and their mid twenties.
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A
female
reader, risk_ann +, writes (10 November 2007):
risk_ann is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses.
I know that teen porn sites usually mean 18 year olds, but the girls he was looking at do NOT look 18. They don't even look like they've reached puberty yet.
I know I've got to confront him, but its hard to right now since he'll be gone until Monday and I don't want to do it over the phone.
I don't even know how to do it when he's going to be home. He's not violent or anything, he just doesn't answer any questions and his explanations can get so vague, but that happens when you ask him about anything really...
But thank you guys again.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 November 2007):
A pedophile is someone who seeks sexual contact with a minor. But, even if he's not making direct contact with them, it is unlawful for him to transport, obtain, solicit, or possess illicit material of minors on his computer, or use his computer for viewing of such material.
You'll need to talk to him. If you're sitting across the living room, and he's viewing porn and ignoring you, there has to be something wrong.
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