A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. I broke up with him once last October because I couldn't trust him but ended up taking him back by February after I went into a jealous fit when he was with a new girl. Now I realize my mistake. He's very possessive and obsessive and will call my home 26 times if I don't pick up. He'll rage if I talk to any male friend of mine and is very physical when he's angry. However, we have so much emotional baggage it's hard to cut the cord. He's my security blanket. He was my first kiss, first boyfriend,etc. and we've been through so many issues that I don't know what will happen when he's gone. I started top become very irritated by his personality, he has no ambition, no desire to find a job (he's 18) and he has to get his GED because he was too lazy to go to school. He's like one of those strings on your shirt that just won't rip off. I deeply care about him, but he's started mentioning about us in the future and living together and yada yada and how this is affecting his decision to go into the military. I'M 16! I want to go to college without this mess following me around. I know I don't want him in the future! I feel guilty because I know this but whenever I try to break it he starts crying or something and tells me I've only lied about loving him. I love him, I'm not in love with him. I'm too sensitive too handle him when he's like that.His mother's a loser and I guess he uses me as his form of female attachment. But I don't want to do this anymore. He's become so much apart of my life and it's too hard. How do I end this without choking up or him doing something drastic?
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ambition, broke up, jealous, military, no desire Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): CaringGuy is right. You just have to break up and cut contact, no matter how much he cries or begs. It's going to hurt, but you'll get over him and move on with your life. Whatever he does afterward is not your responsibility or problem. You're too young to have this guy ruining your life. What is the point of being with someone that doesn't care about you, splits your lip, gets a new girlfriend to make you mad, and has no plans for his future?!!
If he's all you have, then you need to go get some friends and spend some time with your parents and/or siblings.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): I'm sorry to tell you this, but I am a teenager. He got a girlfriend to make me mad. The reason I broke up with him in the first place was because he lied to me about talking to other girls and had busted my lip. He told me he was using her to make me mad and loved me, which is why I was jealous. However when you're with someone for so long h=and they're all you've had, you don't know had to cut it the cord when you know it's best for everyone, especially when each are going to be hurt. How about you grow up and answer my question, when someone is so emotional how do you ease the process and grief.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 September 2010):
No disrespect, but you're not really any better than him yourself. You're just as jealous. You ended it, he got another girlfriend and you got jealous and took him back. Now you call him your 'security blanket'. Basically, he's just some toy you keep around as you please.
You need to stop being a teenage, and start being more adult here. You make it sound like it's impossible to break up. It's not at all. You break up, cut all contact and never speak to him again. It's not as hard as you're making it. If you don't dump him, you're just as bad as him. Get it over and done with, and move on. Stop using him like a spare toy in the corner.
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