A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey all! ive been with my boyfriend for 4yrs now, we have a 1 yr old daughter together. but the reason that im asking this embasasin question is because its bugging me! we had a fairly modern sex life up to 2 yrs ago. and now im lucky if i get it once every 3 weeks! he makes excuses sayin 'im not in the mood,im tired,and then says oh we wil do it tomara'. and he won do it wen he says he will! wats going on? we are in our twenties
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in the mood, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): He feels like the breadwinner now and not the MAN.
Get a sitter and plan a romantic evening with him.
He wants and needs to feel like he is desired.
(If you are worried your man will cheat if this distance continues.. than, YOU have an affair with him. Text him racy notes, buy new hottay underwear and show him a pix. )
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 November 2010):
Hi there. You are going to have to sit down with him and have a talk about it.
Tell him that it is worrying you, and is there something that's on his mind.
If you otherwise get along well with each other, and you are not constantly fighting, well there's probably no relationship reason that could be the cause.
Perhaps he is tired, remembering that you have a small child together who probably takes up a fair bit of both of your energy. Tiredness would definitely kill the sex drive.
- Is he busy at his work?
- Does he have a stressful job?
- Is he happy at work?
If any of these things are happening, stress or unhappiness on the job would also affect his sex drive.
In any case, you do need to talk to him about it. The longer you leave it, the more difficult it will become.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): I hate to ask, but is he cheating?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I try to refrain from saying something that might not be true. You never mention about love, or marriage. Well true, not everybody agrees with the marriage institution. Is there some underlying, hidden issue that neither of you want to explore? Does he look at you more as a mother figure than a girlfriend now that there is a baby? One way is to ask him directly. The other way is to do nothing, never ask about sex again, and let him beg for it the next time, make it 6 weeks this time if he doesn't initiate. That can be a true test of whether he really loves you or not. Whenever you complain about the lack of sex you step over the line and assume the dominant role, and that's emasculating for a man. That would make him want to rebel, to break free from you. To proove to you that he's a man he will indirectly let you know that you can't tell him what to do. Men respond better by noticing a void, and wanting to fill it.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 My boyfriend and I were going through the same thing. He was a man whore before we got together, so his sex drive is def not up there where mine is. I try to entice him as much as I can.
Not to plant this in your head, could he be cheating on you? That might not be the case, don't get me wrong. He could just be exhausted, tired from work, maybe even need to see a doctor if something is preventing him from having an erection.
If not I wouldn't worry too greatly about it, some guys just go through these stages where they don't want to have sex as often as they used to because they are in a comfortable state in their relationship. I hope this helped.
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