A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy on-line. We dated for about 3 months and became intimate. He recently announced that he has been talking to his ex girlfriend and they have decided to try it again but he does not want to lose my friendship.He wants to meet with me. He lives in London for 3 years and she is in Italy.How is this LDR going to work. Has he no respect for her by keeping me as a friend (one of whom he has become intimate with).I am clearly not going any where near him now but I do feel I need to talk with him face to face. I was developing feelings for him but I feel he is confused and it may be the ex GF confusing him as he tries to move on. Any advice welcomed please.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 October 2017):
 I also remember your last post, why did you not update that one instead off asking in a different way? Nobody is going to stop you meeting him, it is clear you are going to even though everyone will say its a bad idea. Stop blaming his girlfriend, he is the one that went to her and chased her. He no doubt wants to keep you as a friend in case he gets lonely some nights and wants company. If you want to be a mistress then yes go and meet him, but it really is a bad idea, and he is just using you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 October 2017):
 Maybe advice is not so welcome :) because I remember that you posted recently and we ALL told you not to waste your time on a meeting with this man and his " confusion ".
It seems that you have really your heart set on meeting him again, so , by all means, do as you like. Make sure , though, that seeing him again does not just mean increasing YOUR confusion. You do not seem to be very clear-minded about him; what do you exactly want from him ? what do you envision happening after this meeting ?
Stop for a sec thinking about what HE wants, think about what you want. If it's an exclusive relationship, you obviously won't get it as long as the Italian girl is on the scene. If you just want a platonic friendship - well, I don't think he is offering you a platonic friendship, but that may just be my idea- any way, if you'd accept just a platonic friendship, you must be made of steel, and desperate for company, to hang out as friends with a man for whom you have romantic feelings, and that has turned you down for someone else.
Hint : if he and the ex talked, and both agreed to give it another try- then she is not an " ex " , she is the *current* partner on whom he is investing sexually , emotionally and mentally , regardless of her location....
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (18 October 2017):
 My advice would be to delete this man from your life, block him and move forwards.
Why would you waste a second of time on someone that's going back to their ex? Who cares if he's confused? He isn't fully focused on you so why on earth would you waste your time fighting for his attention.
If you think he's worth it when he's showing such a disrespect in loyalty in only 3 months then you need to give your head a wobble.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2017): I'm slightly confused ..Over the :- I'm going no where near him now, part and then you need to met face to face - isn't that going near him .Plus you seem to want that it isn't him .. it's his ex . Confusing him .. and manipulating him .. what all the way from Italy ..You have posted before .. not that postin is a problem . But correct me if I'm wrong didn't you say he went to Italy for weeks and months at a time .. so clearly he was staying there for his own advantages . No one stays for a month in a country without something or someone drawing them there .He has clearly I'm sorry chosen a relationship with someone else Now the friendship.. clearly you can not be a friend as you feel sleeping together has made that impossible . So what do you need to clarify .. that he mislaid you into believing there was more when there wasn't .. that she the devil from Italy made him do this .. Let him go .. he used you .. maybe unintentionally who knows .. and if you can't salvage anything and be friends without casting blame on his gf then why even bother . She probably doesn't know you exsist anyway
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