A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am absolutley fuming! My boyfriend is always accusing me of cheating, and I mean always!I put up with it because I know it's rubbish and he is just insecure.However, tonight we were supposed to go out and have a nice night out whilst my kids are away. I get the chance to go out maybe once every two or theee years!Yet, my other half goes out maybe 6 times a year/ that's 6 times a year more than me! And i pick him up afterwards so he gets home okay.As we were getting ready he kicks off accusing me of allkinds. Calling me a slag etc thus ruining the one chance i have to go out and actually be me!Ive told him what a selfish idiot he is but he just doesnt get it! He coes this everytime he drinks!The thing is, i know i should leave him, but he manages to worm his way back in every single time! Whether it be a day, a week, he always manages to grovel his way out. Quite frankly though i am so angry about tonight. I just think it somes him up completly, he is a selfish idiot!Why do i keep taking this man back? Its not as if he makes my life complete or anything!
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female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (10 October 2015):
 You're rightfully fuming because it's clearly unjustified BS designed to settle whatever little boy insecurity he has- name calling and volatile abuse is NOT how you deal with insecurities, or any other issue- unless you're a 14 year old maybe... how old is this tw*t??I really think there's something in what the last poster said about him feeling guilty and freaking out and transferring the blame! I mean you have 3 kids, you never go out, so why would he think that?? I'm sorry but I don't think this behaviour can be excused in this case- you're still young, you have three kids, and he gives NOTHING to you?? I advise cut this leech out of your life- he's just wasting it for you...It seems like a no brainer, you just need assurance that it is the right thing to do, as we all do sometimes. Get rid, and when you can get out there and make the most of your free time, and with your kids, time wasted on him could be spent on them..Take care! :)
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (10 October 2015):
 The big question here really and truly is "why do you put up with it?" Only you can answer that! Why do you? Do you feel you can't do better? Has he pushed you so far down that you don't have the will to leave? Many times if we hear something long enough we start to believe it, right or wrong. The best thing you can do for yourself is to wash your hands of the man. Stay strong and do NOT under any circumstances let this man back into your life.
I agree 100% that people that cheat very often will steer the accusations back on their partner. Is it possible he is the cheater? I'd certainly check into if you aren't going to leave him. Again..ask yourself WHY you put up with him!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 October 2015):
 WHY would you continue on spending time with this guy?
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 October 2015):
 Generally most people who accuse their partner of cheating are in fact cheating themselves and that is why they are insecure.
First off we need to get to the bottom of why he is so insecure. Talk to him and try and get to the route of the problem. Maybe he is insecure from his childhood, maybe an ex partner treated him badly. You both need to talk openly about his behaviour instead of brushing it under the carpet.
It could also be that he is the one hiding something and he is taking it out on you. It is often the case that when someone cheats on their partner they become insecure with them and blame them for cheating.
If you keep taking him back it is allowing this behaviour to carry on which is not acceptable. You need to get to the bottom of this now or else you will continue to be in a unhappy relationship.
The key here is communication. You both need to talk about this openly and honestly. If use find it difficult then maybe go to counselling together to save the relationship.
If he does not agree to do this, then that would tell me that he is not willing to fight hard enough for this relationship and that you both don't have a happy future if that is the case.
Good Luck AH.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (10 October 2015):
 On what grounds is he accusing you? Is he perhaps doing this so that you do not look too closely at his behaviour? Or is he just one of those overly possessive jerks that get off on emotionally abusing their partner?
"Why do I keep taking this man back? Its not as if he makes my life complete or anything!"
This statement says volumes...
You need to step out of your comfort zone, dump his sorry ass and move on with your life. Why on earth are you with him if he does nothing for you?
You deserve better.
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