A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A while ago I was at a house warming party and I met a guy there. We didn't talk much that night but we exchanged information. We talked for months on gchat before meeting for coffee. We ended up talking for about an hour and a half and it went pretty well as far as first dates go.A few days later he asked me out for a second date which I agreed to. But a few hours before we were suppose to meet, he tells me that he can't make it because of work. A week after this, he asks me out again. But once again cancels due to work again. I know he has a stressful job, but it shouldn't take up this much of his time. He does research and has to publish papers, but it's still a 9 to 5 job.So of course i'm pissed off, but we only went out once so it's not that big of a deal. I just wrote him off, clearly he's not that interested. However, he still keeps in touch, writing to me every once in a while.Recently I wrote on my status that I wanted to try out this new restaurant that's opening in the city. He immediately IMs me that he would love to go with me. I didn't ask him, he wanted to. But he then goes on to tell me his schedule and that lunch wouldn't work for him. I didn't ask him out to lunch, I didn't even suggest a meeting time. I just don't understand why he's showing interest but not following through. What's the point?PS- I'm about 95% sure he's not dating anyone Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (6 February 2011):
I agree, he is confusing. Why bother wasting his time and your time asking you out or writing you if he's just not interested? There must be some interest; otherwise, I would assume he wouldn't bother asking you out or talking to you.
It's good that you've only had one date and he's already showing his true colors--makes it easier to get over. But I can see it being frustrating. I agree with another poster, next time he asks you out tell him what's up...tell him, "Don't make plans with me unless you intend to keep them." Put him in his place, if he still doesn't follow through, then don't talk to him ever again.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): He's not showing interest at all really. He's probably into someone else even though you think he's not. The other alternative would be he didn't feel the chemistry with you sadly.
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A
female
reader, ailemaaax  +, writes (6 February 2011):
Hm, that is confusing! If I were you I'd probably just keep doing what you're doing, just write him off -- he sounds like a time waster.
Maybe, if he asks again, you should say in a friendly joking way, "Haha, as long as you promise to turn up this time," or something like that. And if he does it again... Yeah. Write off.
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