A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over 19 months now. He cheated on me after about 10 months and after that he completely changed his attitude and I could honestly see that this mistake was something that he regretted, so I took him back and we have been good ever since. However it has made me insecure about little things, I do trust him but for instance we both know each other's Facebook passwords and he has recently changed it. Before you jump to conclusions I wasn't snooping and I never snoop, I was just changing something for him. I don't want to bring it up, because it will seem like I'm sus on him and I don't want that. I know he talks to girls and I'm ok with that, there was this one girl who always used to Facebook chat with him and after a while he deleted her because she would be constantly sending him messages, so by him doing that makes me think that he wouldn't be hiding anything. I just need some advice on how to not over think little things like him changing his pasword because they are constantly making me upset and I don't want this to come between us.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (24 September 2011):
 You didn't trust him 10 months ago, and it still looks like you're still struggling to trust him again.
You're telling me that with knowing his password you never long on to check his FB?? You had to, in order to know his password changed.
Regardless, you're going to have to bring it up with him. Ask him directly why he felt the need to change his password. Let him explain and see if he's telling the truth or not.
It doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating, you'd need more evidence. But I would keep a watchful eye on him since he's done it before.
A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (24 September 2011):
 Id like to say that I believe in second chances for people but I don't. Its not that I don't believe he is sorry as people do make mistakes that they regret however, the trust is gone. The purity is gone. After that it just deteriorates and degrades over time. Cheating is like a corrosive acid that continues to drip and drip until there is nothing left. I hate to say that because I'm sure there are more positive answers than mine but mark my word, this will end one day due to the lack of trust. You might as well make a clean break now. If you can't even trust facebook then what. Soon you will wonder who sent a text and who just friend requested him. He will eventually get mad about explaining himself all the time and it will progress until its over. Just let him go. He may take the single time to become a better and more trust worthy person or he may not. Most people who cheat always have the potential to cheat. I mean beautiful women are cheated on all the time. Its not your fault but you don't wanna become the girl that demands to know where your boyfriend is all the time and that it what will happen I'm afraid. There are thousands of people in the world, don't waste it with a person who can betray your trust like that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 September 2011):
 Obvioulsy his past actions and behavior surfaces in your mind when something pops up, that might seem out of the ordinary.
The only way you will really know, is to ask him. If you say you were just going to fix something for him, he will understand and not think you are snooping. (IMHO) If you don't ask him your mind will start to make it out to be something it may not be.
I have to say though, I don't think he NEEDS to tell you that he changing his PW. Unless it was past of the process to move past the cheating.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 September 2011):
 i think you should just ask him. he may have changed his password because he is doing something he does not want you to see OR he may have changed it because someone else has hacked in, but if that was the case, why would he not tell you?? sounds fishy. its not 'over thinking' it is 'being realistic' - why would you want to brush realistic thoughts a way? look into this, don't just try to ignore it
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): I don't think he needs to tell you about changing his password - it's his facebook. surely if he wanted you to change things we would have told you his new password, or could just change it himself? Also, he could have changed it for a number of reasons, so I wouldn't think too much into it. Is there a slight lack of trust there? I don't know...
Perhaps you should talk to him about how insecure you're feeling? he's the only one who can fix things. It would be a great idea for you to get some confidence - I know that's easier said than done. But your BF can help you with that. I've been in the same position before, and it helped me to talk about it!
good luck x
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