A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i met my boyfriend wen i was 13. weve been together ever since with alot of breakups which didnt even last an hour. since he's come back from a boys holiday hes been acting really different.. its an effort to get him to even kiss me on the lips.. he never really texts me back when i wanna talk to him about our relationship, an wen i talk to him in person he jus says, 'oh i dont wanna talk about this now.' he goes out with his friends and jus asks me to stay at his house when hes finished with them, ive told him so many times how it upsets me an he jus carries on. i dont feel like i can really speak to him about stuff, he never takes me out, we never stay in together, i get really jelous of other peoples relationships, an i dont know what to do, ive tried breaking up with him an he jus talks me out of it, we must have broken up about 10 times these last couple of weeks and i dont know what to do, i cant stop crying and he just has a go at me for it. now hes askin me for space but we never see eachother i just dont understand. i really dont know what to do, do you have any ideas?
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male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 just dump him, get rid of him. cut out the people you don't want in your life and with people I mean who they actually are. He obviously gives you bad feelings in your gut. I've experienced my gut feeling is right most of the time. He's playing with you and it's not the good kind. I could safely predict that if you keep him in your life, you'll be slowed down and I bet you will miss out on some good stuff. You want to grow up in your own way and as happy as you can. You can do that but not if he's bringing you down all the time. Just make a desision and stick with it. He can talk you out of it because he's a smooth talker. Some people can talk people into anything. If you go one way and they don't like it, they can manipulate you into going the way which they want. Eventually you're going their way and you've sacrificed your own. You following? :) You're obviously a good person and you shouldn't let him take advantage of you. Take a good look at the real person he is. Not just the good sides all at once or the bad sides but the WHOLE big picture. When you see the guy he is, imagine yourself if you see yourself with him in the distant future, if you actually love him or if you want something different, something better. You can't change a lot of people. You just can't wait for it to become better or hope for him to finally treat you right. I can promise you he won't or at least not in this situation. When it's important I sometimes look at people like this: If I keep them in my life, will they make my life better for it? If you can honestly say that about your boyfriend then I suggest you give him another shot. If not, well disconnect yourself from him. Ok it might not be easy being at school together, but it's better than staying with him and being toyed with, disrespected and/or held down. At least other people will know you're single and that you stood up to something and they'll respect you for being strong. There are lots of guys like him around everywhere but try pick a guy that's actually worth being with and that'll nurture your soul. We all could use that. Don't let anyone repress you please.
A
female
reader, Opalescent  +, writes (11 August 2010):
First of all, he is loving the attention you are giving him. BACK OFF! Give him space, let him do his own thing. Work on yourself and do things for YOU! Stay busy to keep your mind off of him. When he sees that you are not there for him and readily available 24/7 he will most likely wonder what is going on and come back to you. Be independent! If he knows your waiting by your phone all day long he is less likely to try and contact you. The last thing you want to do is smother him. Sounds like you both, more so him, have a little growing up to do because obviously communication is lacking. On his part...
Good luck!
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