A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I realize that there are probably no 2 bipolar individuals with the same symptoms. But When my husband leaves me, sometimes for weeks at a time, what is going through his mind? When asked, he says "not much of anything". He even says he doesnt think about me. How can this be. He is not on the right medication and I cannot convice him that he indeed does need the medication to manage his disease. It breaks my heart to see him going through this. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have loved him through it all. It's getting worse. He is only 37 and I'm very afraid of what may happen if he continues thinking he can handle this alone. Without me or medication. He hasn't shown up for work, or much less called in. He hasn't tried to reach me either. He has been sleeping at his grandmothers house every night, but gone all day long. He tells her he is going to work, but we know he isnt. I want my marriage to work, I have been with him this long and I will do the best I can to be supportive, if he gets the help he needs. Unfortunately, I cannot be with him anymore and continue to have our family torn apart by this horrible disease if he chooses not to get the help he needs. Can someone out there please help me with a way to try to get him the help he so badly needs. I cant stop crying and I hurt so bad - for him and for myself.
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (17 May 2009):
 Britt has given you advice and she knows better than most what living with a bi-polar sufferer is like.
My sister's fiance is also bi-polar and yes all the same traits seem to shine through as they all seem to go down the same route once they stop taking their meds.
My future brother-in-law is a very intelligent man who has different bouts of depressive mood swings. My sister has said that she is still trying to recognise the signs as when a non bi-polar person is happy about fantastic news that can be the time that the bi-polar sufferer actually ends up feeling the lowest.
A friend at my daughter's school who is another child's mother is also a bi-polar sufferer and all she can do is keep herself busy and she says her partner keeps her on track with her meds but it is the times when the meds make her so sleepy that she lessens them off and takes pride in her gardening or staying busy around her house, she doesn't work where my future brother-in-law does but he also keeps busy at the weekends by rubbing down old furniture and re-staining or treating it again to bring it back from it's former glory.
He has to sleep every day after he has been very active in the morning and sometimes takes himself off for an hour or several to recharge his battery.
I think all you can do is to let your husband know how much you love him and want to be there for him - why not get yourself to your doctors though so that you are not brought down to a low level either. Talk to him as it sounds to me like this is taking such a toll on you right now and if you want to be there for your husband you need to get yourself strong to.
Your husband is obviously working through things right now and maybe by talking to your doctor you may be able to get a supply of meds for him to keep at his grandmother's and if he knows that they are there for him, he may decide one day to take them, who knows. Other than that there is like Britt has said not a lot more you can do for him. Just try and let him know that you love him and if you have children maybe they could make him something with loving words on to say to their dad. If he feels he is not alone then who knows he may feel a little glimmer of hope again.
Keep us posted sweetheart and stay strong for you and your family but also get help to make you strong to.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): I am very sorry for you, and the answer I have to give you. Actually there are very similar charactersistics in all people who are bi-polar. That's how they know how to diagnos it.
I spent 16 years of my life trying to get my husband to help himself. It can't be done! The person has to acknowledge, and want treatment inorder to get well. Left untreated (or not treated correctly) It could get worse. My husband became very violent, destructive to himself and others, abusive and cold. He wasn't like that when we met and fell in love.
You can research all possible resources, but until he is willing to help himself, there isn't much you can do for him. I am so sorry I sound so negative. And I hope someone out there can give you some hope.
I know all too well what you are going through and how much you love and want to help your husband!
Good luck and Be Strong!
Britt
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