A
female
age
30-35,
*ove-struckxo
writes:How do I get over my trust, controlling, and commitment issues, so I don't ruin things with this guy that I really like!I'm fifteen years old, and I've had two what i'd like to call 'serious' boyfriends since 2007. The first relationship I had I was thirteen, he was sixteen, lasted eight months. (I also lost my virginity to him) and my most recent one I was fourteen, he was fifteen lasted five months. (he gave me an std and almost got me pregnant)I've been VERY hurt emotionally by both of them. My last boyfriend was very controlling over me, and what I did. We had the most horrible break-up ever, that lasted from january-april 09. When we first broke up, I became very depressed, I lost alot of weight because I basically slept for two weeks straight so I wouldn't have to deal with the pain. I was on the verge of a 'mental breakdown' as my mom would call it. It took me three months to finally cut him off after we broke up, even after we broke up, he would still call me to 'check up' on me. (he doesn't live in my hometown by the way) and would get mad when I went out with my friends. Recently, I met this guy, we instantly clicked. He is seventeen years old. (two years age difference) We have a very strong connection I think, but now I get so scared that hes going to change his mind about me, and i'm pushing myself away from him because i think i'm going to get hurt. He told me he wants a relationship with me, and I want it too but I don't think its going to happen, when I can't seem to trust him - commit to him, and I feel like I could get controlling over his where abouts and who he is with.He constantly reassures me about how much he likes me and wants to be with me, but I'm so paranoid that hes out with this girl and the next doing god knows what, and when he tries to talk to me I get all mad for no reason.I don't know what to do! I REALLY think this is a good one, he is actually trying to have a relationship with my family, my friends and ME, but I'm distancing myself away.. How can I break down this wall.. and let someone else in again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): I say give him a chance he seems o.k judging from what you said x
A
female
reader, Tierneyhutson  +, writes (17 May 2009):
 Hi babes.
im The same age as you, so i may be able to give you some resonably good advice.
I think that you should give the new guy a chance, i mean you don't no if he will hurt you or what wil happen but thats a risk your going to have too take,
i've had 2 Very serouis relationships (one a year and four months , the other a year and one day) but thing is, i've been hurt SOOO many time in the passed i don't no wether i can trust boys.
But you never no , this new guy could be your MR. dream come true haha,but your going to have to take a risk.
don't drift away from him, it may send him the wrong singnals.
just explain to him tht you've been hurt before, and you had an mental breakdown. im sure he will understand,
and you both will feel comfterable to take it slow.
i hope this helps.
i wish you all the best.
Tierney hutson
xx
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