A
female
age
30-35,
*issjaded
writes:My fiance and I have been together for more than a year and a half. I love him dearly and would move mountains for him, and for a while, I believed he felt the same. He was my first, and I was hoping my last. But now our relationship is on the rocks and I can't help but feel I settled into this relationship too fast and too deep. It all started when he betrayed my trust, i.e. texting other girls behind my back, telling them things I thought he reserved for me alone. The shock and misery I felt made me lose our baby. He repented, I took him back, and he did it again. Rinse and repeat a few more times. Every time I see him texting, calling or chatting on the Internet, I get anxious and miserable and insist on knowing who it was.But yesterday was the last straw. I heard him talking on the phone and when I asked him about it, he lied and said it was his sister. I checked his phone while he was sleeping and it was a girl he used to date. I gave him my ring back and asked him to leave and again, the crying and grovelling began.I am so confused and think that I should be with him but another part of me wants to leave him. I don't want to live with the drama, the constant niggling in my mind wondering what he does when I'm not around, and the sheer torment that he'd rather protect another girl from my wrath rather than offer me complete transparency in our relationship.So should I let go of him or stay because of familiarity?
View related questions:
fiance, text, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): This is a type of cheating, I'm afraid. He does not respect you. He will go behind your back to talk to other girls, so how long until he decides since you're okay with that to do more with those girls? If he has hurt you so bad you miscarried, that is horrible. And if you are now to the point that you are checking up on him, there is no trust left, and without trust the relationship will fail. You have no peace, and you do not feel safe living in anxiety 24/7.I would say that it may be best to end this one before marriage. It is hard, but since you've already brought up this issue, lost a baby, and he still does not understand, then he never will. I'm sorry. :(
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (28 August 2011):
 Don't put up with that. You deserve to be happy and deserve respect from the man who loves you. He clearly does not respect you, and clearly will NEVER learn. Leave now before any more damage is done.
...............................
|
