A
female
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anonymous
writes:The guy I was seeing for a few months broke up with me a few weeks back. Well, I say broke up, he more or less ignored me til I got the hint it was over. When I finally spoke to him and asked why, he said it was because I was too much of a flirt with other guys and didnt like the way I 'went about things'. A few weeks prior to the split, we had a massive row because he was constantly commenting on a mutual friends facebook page, and he reassured me that he didnt like her it was just banter as he saw this girl as a mate like a male friend. But it all went wrong when I found out that they had met in a bar without telling me. They were with other friends and there was nothing to it, but it still hurt me and I told him to stop contacting her or we would finish. Yes it was over the top and I may have over-reacted but I was so hurt at the time. I also stopped talking to her too. So he deleted her on his facebook and everything was ok until he finished with me a week later. Today I go onto my facebook and I see that he has re-added her as a friend and is back to his old ways of commenting on her statuses and stuff. I am still friends with her on facebook so I see it all. I also made contact with him today to tell him that he has lots of his things still at my place and as Im moving out next week Im not sure what to do with it. He was fine back to me and we didnt argue. But now Ive seen his comments on her wall Im just so tempted to message him and let him know that Ive seen it and I know hes doing it.I just cant believe how disrespectful he is to me, he treated me appalingly when we were together and more fool me to put up with it, but even now we are apart he is being disrespectful by doing this. Im so hurt by it all. I dont want to have to block either of them on facebook because it would look like I am jealous. Im trying so hard to move on and I did 2 weeks of no contact until today when I had to tell him stuff was at mine. What do I do? Its so hard. Im 30 and he is 34.
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broke up, facebook, flirt, jealous, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 February 2014):
 I don't see how your EX boyfriend is being disrespectful to you by living his life now. YOU are his ex.
I personally see no need to be friendly with an ex if they cause you pain. And you ARE jealous. UNfriending and blocking someone does not indicate jealousy at all IMO rather it shows a maturity and a moving on and living your life.
Just tell him his stuff is going to be boxed and on your porch on such and such a date and time and if he wants it he can make arrangements to pick it up.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (19 February 2014):
 Best form of revenge is move on and be happy. I would not even meet him when he come to collect his stuff, arrange for a friend to be there.
Don't let him up set you or spoil your day by checking up on his facebook. Maybe you need to stop going on facebook and stop stalking them, this way you can heal and not feel down and miserable.
Its over and he is free to see/date anyone. You need to start going out and make sure that you have fun. No matter how down you are go out and be with friends I promise it gets easier and you stop thinking about this guy.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 February 2014):
 How is he being disrespectful to you ? You are broken up. You aren't together anymore ( also assuming that commenting on a mutual friend's FB page WAS actually disrespectful ). He can do what he wants. He can flirt with Michelle Obama if he wants , it's none of your business. You want to let him know you have seen what he is doing- I think the most likely comment you'd get from him would be " So what ? " .
You say you don't want to look jealous, then you want to send him an " I have seen what you are doing " message ?!
Let it go, you are a bit too old to wage Facebook wars. Just tell him, if you haven't already, that you are relocating so he needs to collect his stuff within day X, after which you can't be responsible for his stuff. If he does not come and collect it, that's his problem, you just throw it away.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 February 2014):
 Let it go, it's NOT going to DO YOU any good to throw more DRAMA into this silliness. What good will it do that you TELL him you saw what he did? YOU are no longer his GF - he doesn't OWE you not to talk to her no longer. GET over it.
Pack his stuff is a black trash-bag/box and give him a date/time to come pick it up.
I thought you two would have been in the 16-20 age group going by all that immature Facebook drama. Seriously, liking someones status doesn't mean a darn thing. And if you feel so strongly that it is disrespectful, maybe you should stay off Facebook. I can't believe you made such a stink out of him "liking" stuff. Now the meeting up and not telling you, well THAT would not sit well with me, but I guess I can see why he didn't tell you.
Maybe it would DO you good to delete him or block his feeds.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2014): DONOT contact him. I know exactly how u feel but honestly I think he'll be doing it to annoy u. I'd block him - just him if u really want to keep her. It will defo get to him if he sees you've blocked him and if he asks why just say "aw I've moved on". If he doesn't come for his stuff then that's his tough! Bin it. Don't say anything about the messages you've seen - he'll love that. Good luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2014): awww, i feel for you hun. its sooo hard when a loved one does this to you. especially when your so caught up in that person, you think they can't do one bad deed. you need to move on, 'cos you can do so much better, trust me! gud luck x!
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