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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I had a few posts here and got really good advice. My ex dumped me nearly a year ago. We talked a few times. I initiated contact most of the times. I couldn't let go and get over him because we planned to get married before we broke up and he's my very first. He would still say he missed me and loved me when we talked even when he's someone else. Anyway, I blocked him after knowing he has a new girlfriend and also wrote a really mean letter to him. He's hurt me way too much. I didn't deserve the way he treated me. I know he doesn't care but it really did help me move on. I cut all ties. I think about him less and less. No more feelings come up when I see pictures of us or the love letters he wrote me. It's like 1/3 way there to be fully recovered. I'm recently more focused on myself, my life and my goal. I'm going to work abroad and live on my own. I know he won't believe it if he hears about this. (I'm from Asia. It's very common in my country that people live with their family before getting married.) I'm being more independent and I'm different from what he knows. I think this is the best revenge? Do I keep blocking him or unblock him? I really do hope he regrets dumping me.
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broke up, move on, my ex, revenge Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (20 February 2014):
 Anonymous reader, your comments, although heartfelt and based on your own experiences aren't really offering the OP any practical help and advice on how to move forward and deal with her current situation.
Your bitterness is very evident and I hope you find closure and peace very soon AB x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2014): Well, all these people are telling you the same thing, but unless you are going through this , at this time, it is so easy to say, don't think about him, just move on, its not that easy, if you feel in your heart, you still love him, even a little bit, it's the hardest thing to do is , not think about the one you love. All most two years for me, I wish I never met her, but I did an now I have to live with the pain, till it's gone. You will love again, an look back how dumb you were to boo hoo over him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 February 2014):
 Getting over heartbreak can be a long a bumpy road, the fact that you are wondering if you should block/unblock him from your life tells me that you are NOT over him.
You don't NEED revenge to be happy. If you think you do, you will end up being a miserable person.
REMOVE him 100% from your life, that goes for e-,mail, social websites, phone, chat, IM, EVERYTHING. And then LIVE your life as YOU see fit, live your life to be HAPPY for YOU, not that you somehow one-upped him.
It might BE his loss that he let you go - but it's YOUR gain if you make something GREAT out of your life.
Cut the dead weight. Who cares if he regrets!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2014): If you were really over him, you wouldn't even think of him; and there would be nothing to consider about unblocking him.
You're still sitting around wondering whether to block or unblock him?
Then how can you be over him?
He doesn't care if you're over him or not. He'd rather you move on and just forget about him. Especially if he has someone else.
You're the one who initiated all the post-breakup contact with your ex.
He's not following up on your life. Why do you keep bothering him?
You will be over him when you forget him; and don't care about any sort of revenge.
You only seek revenge on someone who has hurt you; and the need for revenge means you're still in pain. Don't delude yourself. You still have a problem, and have a long way to go.
Leave him alone, and keep working on forgetting him and healing.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (18 February 2014):
I'm sorry, my dear, but you haven't moved on nearly as much as you think you have.
You say you're focusing on yourself, your life and your goal (which is to work abroad) but the entire thrust of your letter is about your ex!
Well done for blocking him, however you say that it hurts less and less when you see old pictures of the two of you and the love letters he sent you.
Umm, why do you have pictures of you two as a couple and why have you kept his love letters to you?
HE has moved on my dear, he has a new girlfriend and a new life.
If you unblock him so he can see just how independent and "over him" you are, he will either feel relieved and happy that you're ok now or pity you because he'll see right through this charade. Either way you will not have closure.
I know he's treated you badly and you didn't deserve that, it hurt all the more because he had mentioned marriage leading you to believe the two of you had a future.
When it all went wrong you not only lost your boyfriend, and had your heart broken, but you lost your dreams for your future.
You now have a chance of a new life and new bright future ahead of you. You will one day meet a man worthy of you and you will make new dreams and goals.
Your ex was not worthy of you and, as weird as this sounds, much better to find out that he was unsuitable before you committed yourself to him forever.
I say keep him blocked, ditch the letters and old photo's and forget all about getting your own back, because the only person who would come off looking bad is you.
I'm sorry to be harsh but I have to be honest.
I wish you safe travels and a happy future.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, Alba5 +, writes (18 February 2014):
If he has a new girlfriend he's hardly pining for you. Move on he has, get rid of the photos and letters and meet a person who would be more than happy to marry you. If you can do that it'll be the sweetest revenge.
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A
female
reader, wishfulsoul  +, writes (18 February 2014):
No you should not unblock him, you should leave the past in the past, move on with your life and forget about him. Nothing good will come of it.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 February 2014):
Revenge shouldn't even be on your mind if you want to move on. Just go about making your life as good as you can.
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A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (18 February 2014):
 Im going through the same thing at the moment. I really want an ex to regret finishing with me. I keep blocking and unblocking him. I think the best form of revenge is success and by what you have written it already looks like you are set for some good things this year. I think you have come so far already by cutting all ties and not contacting him. You have said yourself you are 1/3 over him. Dont go back on that by unblocking him and quietly hoping that he will see what you are doing and start to regret. Keep him blocked. Let him hear through others what you are doing now. Once you are abroad and started on this new chapter of your life I can guarantee you that he will be the last thing on your mind anyway. You will be too busy having new experiences and making new memories to be thinking about him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 February 2014):
 oh and to add: the fact that you HOPE he regrets dumping you tells me you are NO WHERE NEAR over him or healed.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 February 2014):
Stop living your life to please anyone but yourself.
Put his pictures and his letters in a sealed envelope and put it in the bottom of a drawer you don't go into. IGNORE IT For YEARS....
do not unblock him...
do NOT worry about what he thinks or cares about or how he feels.. HE is irrelevant in your life.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (18 February 2014):
 I think you should stop playing this silly game of block and unblock. Delete his contact information once and for all and don't call, text or email him ever again.
It really doesn't matter what he regrets or doesn't regret. What does matter is what you make of yourself. You have much to look forward to so focus on that and leave him in the past.
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