A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So here it goes...it happened 7 years ago. I was in the same city as the guy i liked(my dad was in the army) and he promised to meet me . . .we were supposed to go out for a movie or something.Well, he never turned up. I was stood up...and there were no apologies...nothing.A few years later,like an idiot i confessed to him that i was in love with him. Sadly; that was useless as he was dating someone else - he'd hidden the fact from me.He was very nice though...for eg, he would be the first on to wish me on my birthday and when i had a near-fatal accident he was really worried and kept checking on me.Still he didn't love me.I got tired of trying after a bit and decided to stop staying in touch.Now seven years later, he messaged me saying he's in the same town and we should catch up.He sent me his number.So i called him up and he asked me 2-3 times if i could meet him.We set a date to meet this morning..he said he'd give me a buzz and i'd leave then to meet at a cafe.The buzz never came...12pm became 4 pm...i tried calling him up and smsin him...but he messaged at 4:30 saying he was studying till the wee hours of the morning and that he just woke up.I replied saying even i have exams going on (masters) and i'd meet him another day.No reply.The point is;he knew i was busy and i had to return in the evening...and he still did this.Am i over -reacting or is this guy just not interested?I can't go thru this again. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MaryB +, writes (27 February 2011):
I'm sorry to say this and I'm sure you are hurting but, unfortunately, you are in love with a figment of your imagination - a fantasy you have built up in your mind.The red flags were starring you in the face years ago. A true indicater of future behavior is past behavior. This guy is immature and all about himself - he has no regard for other people's feelings. He makes rash decisions and breaks them at a whim - if something better comes along he's all over it and the fact that he will be ditching you doesn't even enter his mind. Not the kind of person I would want to invest my precious time in.You have wasted a lot of years thinking about a guy who has never reciprocated your feelings. It is now time to get him out of your head and stop waiting around for this guy to grow up. Obviously, it's not going to happen anytime soon, if ever! You deserve to be with someone who has integrity, someone who will love and respect you...a man who when he promises you something, he follows through. A man who is worthy of your love - this guy is NOT that guy! Take care!
A
female
reader, JDinCali +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Aww, you're not a loser. You know what you want, but just don't look back once you made a decision. Maybe keeping a journal would be good for you; to revisit why you made the choices to move on. Sometimes re-experiencing those awful emotions will help your uncertainty in the future. We all want love. Good luck in finding it. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol...i have realised itI thought he would have changed..he was 16 then; he's 23 now...You know...being stood up again...it just brought up memories . . . i'm definitely going to avoid him now.I feel like such a loser.
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A
female
reader, JDinCali +, writes (27 February 2011):
You're right, he's not interested in you. Actions speak louder than words when it comes to men, always!
The fact that he said he was going to do something and didn't follow through, is making a clear statement to you that you're not worth his time. He's 100% unreliable. He made the statement twice, hoping you'd get the hint, but after the second time he dissed you, you still said, "Another time." ?! Don't allow yourself to be treated this way. He doesn't respect you for it.
He is not a man, because men do what they say they're going to do and are honest about their intentions. You definitely deserve a man, not some jerk with a cute face who will play games with your heart.
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