A
female
age
51-59,
*issj
writes:I am 38 and divorced with 2 children Met a man 4 months ago who pursued me with great gusto. He is also divorced with 2 children and is working through his grief at having to share custody of his children. I have grown close to him. One week he is all positive and talks about a future together, tells me im the best thing to come into his life for a long time and he wants to be with me 24/7. Then he switches off for 3 to 4 days and its like I dont exist until next time. Its just been a casual relationship as neither of us want to rush things.I told him last week that I could not do the casual sex thing anymore as it wasnt what I wanted. There has been no pressure on him. So he says "maybe this can develop into something more than that but thats up to you". Took me out for dinner on the weekend and today when I spoke to him he said "I dont think we will be sleeping together anymore"!!! What a humiliating thing to hear. His reason? Because I had said I cant do the casual thing and he cant give me anymore than that. Totally confused. Why did he talk about the future so much?
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male
reader, duce00  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 Unless I missed it you didnt mention how long hes been divorced. Sounds like its been rather soon, judging by his erradic behavior. Theres a simple word for this...REBOUND. Hes confused, not settled, and obviously doesnt know what he wants. This is to be expected after a divorce. Thats why its best to steer clear of recent divorcees if you want stability and consistency.
PS: Allways remember the kids too. Its best to keep the drama low for your kids and this sounds like it could cause waves at home even if he did end up being "the one".
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