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He's acting different, what is going on?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 May 2008) 18 Answers - (Newest, 27 May 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *weetheart1nonly writes:

My boyfriend and I have been living together for 5 months and we both decided that we make things right,though I still have few of my things in his house, I move out since we aren't married then he would be coming to my house, meet my brother as he is talking of marrying me. Then from there, my parents, his parents already know me. I moved out 2 days ago and that day we had an argument, though he dropped me in my house, gave me some money and said take care. I texted him thanks and he should let me know when he's home but he didnt text me.

The next morning he texted me "wats up", I said i was fine and that was it. Today texted him in the morning, greeting him no reply, few hours later texted him and called him, he said he got the text late, how I'm doing, he would call me back later. Few hours, He texted me how my day was going and we talk later.

Please what is really going on? What should I do? What is in his mind, yet he didn't mention anything about break up, then what should I do? He isn't talking to me like his girlfriend or someone he loves. what is he doing? and what shoould I do? So I know where I stand. Should I text him asking him what is going on or just be acting normal? Would appreciate your help.

View related questions: money, moved out, text

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A male reader, Prophet7 United States +, writes (27 May 2009):

It sounded like he was playing head games and not being up front with you. Sounds like he wanted to see what else was out there but didn't want you to completely move on in case he wanted you back. When someone is in love with you they would not want space. When people want space it means they want to evaluate the relationship. During the evaluation they either see that they don't want to live without you or they decide that they would rather be single or with someone else. It sucks but it's the truth. Just because you moved out doesn't mean he had to change. My ex did the same thing when I moved back home(only 25 miles). It led to our break up because she got distant and stopped callin me. She would only text and when I would call her we would talk for less than 5 minutes before she would say she had to go. People change and there is nothing we can do about it.

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2008):

aphexinfinite agony auntyou need to talk to him on the phone when he calls you and ask if you can meet up and get it sorted out because if its not going to work then your best going your seperate ways, or trying to fix whatever the problem is aphex

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (27 May 2008):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Now I called him and asked him what he had to say. He asked me if I had travelled though I already told him when I was travelling. He asked me where I was, I said my friend's place and he asked where, I said friend's place that what was it he wanted to say. He said nothing since I;m at my friend's place and he wanted to know if I had travelled and was wondering why I was texting and not calling him. That he would call me later. What should I do now pls?

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2008):

aphexinfinite agony auntyou can wait a day or two but in the end your only preventing knowing the truth for yourself...so ide doo it sooner than later aphex

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (27 May 2008):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Do I call him now or wait a little longer? like some more days or it's of no use.

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2008):

aphexinfinite agony auntcall him and talk about it, see what he has to explain about the situation, and take it from their u need to talk about this. aphex

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (26 May 2008):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I texted him how hurt I was but time would heal and he called me back twice but I didn't pick up. He then texted me that he is doing the right thing and needs to talk to me, that I should call him when I have time. But I haven't called and plan not. What should I do? Am I doing the right thing? Would appreciate your help.

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (23 May 2008):

aphexinfinite agony aunti only hope it helps your situation as i know how a situation like that can be like aphex *hug*

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (23 May 2008):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

You are right, Thanks a lot for your help. I really appreciate it.

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (23 May 2008):

aphexinfinite agony aunti can see your confusion its a odd predicament your in..maybe hes not coping well with you not being in the house, hes maybe jealous that u moved out for other reason other than you want to do it properly, maybe hes become insecure..you have to ask him whats going on because you feel confused about everything. ask him why are things different since i left the house that you feel like your going more apart instead of being close together, and ask him what he ment about those guys bothering you..the only way your going to get answers is by him he is the only one that can say whats going on.. thats my opinion hope it helps aphex

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (23 May 2008):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

The whole story is that since I left the house back to my own house, he has changed. I mean if there is nothing wrong and we are not fighting, he should call me like we used to, say sweet things but now it's more like hi and that's it or we wouldn't talk to eachother in a day or two. One cannot just change like that. Yesterday I dint send him any text then this morning, he sent me a text, to see how I was doing and told me to be careful about those guys disturbing me since I'm no longer in his house. What does that mean and yet we didnt break up and he's still saying I did nothing wrong to him so whats up with the change and what should I do?

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (23 May 2008):

aphexinfinite agony auntyou need to put a bit more detail into your replys as its a little hard to understand what it means bit more indepth please or maybes its just me and im confused..aphex

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (23 May 2008):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

please what do I do? He's now sending me texts asking how I'm doing and now I'm on my own I could see and be with other guys that have been disturbing me that I should be careful. What does this mean? What should I do?

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (21 May 2008):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

That's what I was thinking, that I would just chill and give him space since I didn't do anything and i forgot to add, while we were still living together, he kept on saying that it's when I leave that the real proff of love would be shown.

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2008):

aphexinfinite agony aunttalk to him get him to tell you whats going on because hes giving mixed signals and that u feel hes treating u differently and that you feel like you have been left in the lurch so to speak A xx

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A female reader, sweetheart1nonly United States +, writes (21 May 2008):

sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Maybe but the argument wasn't anything serious, we talked in the car before he dropped me. If there was nothing wrong he would at least call me and we talk for a long period or text nice things not as ordinary friends do and I texted him if I did anything wrong and he said "Hell no" I didnt do anything wrong. So I didnt reply again. So what should I do?

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A male reader, PeterPan United States +, writes (21 May 2008):

PeterPan agony auntSo let me try to sort this out... over the last 2 days, you've barely spoken to each other. Also the day you moved out and the last time that you were face-to-face, you had an argument outside your house...

Is it possible that even though you both spoke about you moving out that he's bummed and brooding over the fact you're no longer living together? ...and this grumpy exterior is how he's expressing it?

Maybe the best thing to do is go have another face-to-face chat and straighten this out?

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2008):

aphexinfinite agony aunti think you should be asking him whats going on and that your confused about it all,, that you feel like things have changed and dont know where things are heading? and you feel you have gotten mixed signals from him and want to know whats the next step. i see youre confusion but the only way to get answers are by asking him im afraid.. hope this helps A xxx

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