A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for three years. He seriously means everything, and this past year we both moved away to college. The good thing is that our colleges are only 15 minutes away from each other, however we still drive to see each other almost every day, if not everyday. However, the problem came about when we decided we wanted to get an apartment together. We chose to do this for multiple reasons, the first being that it was so much cheaper for us to split the cost of an apartment than for us to both be paying thousands of dollars to live in a dorm. When we told his mother about it, she thought it was a pretty good idea. She loves us as a couple and honestly just wished we would hurry up and get married. However, when we told my parents they were very very mad. My mom threatened that she would quit helping me pay for school, and kept reminding me that I had been raised "better" than that. It really hurt me, and it sucks because me and my parents have never had a very open relationship to begin with when it comes to my boyfriend which is really sad because he is such a huge part of my life. I went ahead and decided to move in with him against their will, hoping that maybe they would start to take us a little more serious, and now I have not spoken to them in three weeks. I really need some advise....
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female
reader, malvern  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 You're parents won't hate you. They are just disappointed. This is not what they wanted for you. They wanted you to follow the traditional path of going to college, getting a job, meeting a boy and then settling down - and now this has happened! They can't handle it. In their eyes you are too young for all this commitment. My sons are your age and I would feel the same way as your parents feel. They probrably think you are throwing your life away. Try to respect their feelings. Try not to fall out with them. Despite what you think, your parents will love you unconditionally.
A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (21 May 2008):
 You are old enough to move out and get married. Thats not why your folks are mad. They are mad because their baby girl is not a baby girl anymore. Their house is lonely and quiet. The only advice I can think to give you in this situation, is tell them that you sence there is a deeper issue they have with this, because in all honesty, it is silly and selfish of them to react that way, and it really isnt a big deal. Maybe the other Aunts and Uncles here will see it as a big deal, but, my 7 brothers and I were all living with our sweet hearts at that age, one of them being gay, and no one thought it was wrong. My mom was lonely, and the house was quiet, but my brothers visit her often, and she comes to Hawaii to visit me all the time. You're a big girl, let your parents know that, gently. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, abbie959 +, writes (21 May 2008):
That's rough. Sorry to hear that your parents are reacting as they are. If they are super religious they are probably thinking your procreating like rabbits which would condemn you to hell (via Christian doctrine) lol. But if that's not the case it's probably because of the age thing. Then again you are old enough to die for your country so I think you are old enough to make the decision to live with your boyfriend...whom you've been dating for 3 years now. If they don't like him this could easily sway their way. It could mean that things will end, often living with someone reveals their faults. But it could mean that you're walking down the path of marriage. It's a big step. If they stop paying for your college you can always get loans. Trust me they are freaking easy to obtain. Not the best way to pay for college, but when it's necessary it's necessary. Just go to salliemae.com and apply for a student signature loan...you don't even need your parents to cosign. Just be aware that the interest rates are higher than the normal loans. But back on topic, it's your decision, just be aware of the consequences of your actions. At least you didn't tell them you were pregnant. hahaha, i'm sure the sh** would have hit the fan! haha. Good luck, it's your life remember that, live it for you. Sounds like your parents are having a hard time letting go of their baby girl, just realize that.
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