A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am dating someone that is a major workaholic. He told me this when we first began dating but I'm now seeing it first hand. We've gotten along great up until about 1 month ago when he began having alot of problems at work and all his time is taken up with that. We always spent every evening together but now he only calls occasionally and up until last Friday I hadn't seen him in 3 weeks. He called and wanted to see me but he told me that, right now he is emotionally shut down and has nothing to offer me. I did go ahead and see him because I've missed him. When he left he told me that he loved me. That's the last I've heard from him. My heart tells me to ride it out but my head is arguing and telling me that it's not worth it because apparently I don't mean that much to him. I haven't a clue which to listen to.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 April 2012):
 It's not going to get better to be honest...
Remember that actions speak louder than words.
"I love you" means nothing if he's not there for you when you need him...
"I love you" is great if he shows you he loves you... but to NOT be there, to push you away... especially if he knows he's doing it and says "sorry" doesn't work
My mother used to say "sorry doesn't feed the bulldog"
what she meant was... words are nice but they are not what you need... the dog needs actual food....
"sorry I didn't feed you puppy... you understand right?? I'll feed you next time I have the thought"
can you do that to a dog?
no?
but it's OK for him to do this to you?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to thank all of you for your help and kindness. He did call last night and we talked about everything. He teared up and asked for my forgivness. He said that he knows that he has be neglecting me and that he loves and needs me. I spoke with his best friend this morning and he told me that he's been pushing him away too. So, I guess it's not just me. I will stick it out and see where it leads. Again, thanks to you all!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (24 April 2012):
 I agree with both aunts, there really isn't any excuse that he cannot drop you a text or a 5 minute call on most days. The thing that does worry me is the fact he has said he is emotionally shut down!!! From an outsider point of view it's like he is giving you the option to quit on him because maybe he knows he isn't doing right by you.
When all is said an done only time will tell if you are able to ride it out and see if things improve or get worse...everyone has their breaking point and if you feel you are being short changed or made to feel second best then maybe he's not the guy for you.
Let us know how it goes and what you decide to do as this is an interesting question.
Hugs xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): My honest opinion is that you deserve better. I understand people are busy and you cant always expect contact with them, but in saying that, its not hard for a text or call before bed to show your thinking of someone even if you cant be with them. For you to have no contact what so ever with him i find a little selfish of him.
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A
female
reader, traeumerin242 +, writes (23 April 2012):
He wanted to see you even though he's extremely busy with work. That's a sign that you do matter to him. Not hearing from him for a week may be because he is still busy with his job. Ride it out a little. If you realize that you need a boyfriend who will be there for you more often, then you have every right to break up with him. At that point, you would need to acknowledge his feelings and your feelings for him but admit that his work schedule is too much for you to deal with, and it took you until now to realize that you couldn't be dating someone with as heavy of a work schedule as he has.
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