A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to a wonderful guy for over 20 years. He always tells me how much he adores me and shows me also in so many ways. He has no idea that I feel the way I do because I also love him and treat him the same way. However, the problem is that I sometimes feel this urge to go back to my old ways of playing the field and seeing how many guys I could attract and just having the excitement and fun of that. I am now in my early 40's and I don't know if that is why I am feeling this new need for excitement or what my problem is. I try to ignore these urges but it only works for awhile. It would be stupid to leave a wonderful life and man for such a shallow existence of flirting around but why do I keep thinking about it? I've tried to spice up our sex life and marriage and my husband loves it and always tells me how happy he is and I am too at first but then that's over and my thoughts of wandering return. I will never cheat because I just don't want to be that person but how do I change the desires I have? It's like I want to be 2 different people. The one who wants to repeat that wild exciting time of my earlier life and yet at the same time not throw away what I have now. How can I reconcile these feelings once and for all?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (5 June 2009):
Maybe what the two of you need is a second honeymoon, or at least a vacation.Does it seem to much of a routine?I suggest you ponder these feelings, explore them and figure out what is really bothering you. Could even be just plain old hormones, or maybe ... something happened, something said to you that triggered thoughts ... based on your post, sounds to polite, no passion like you had in the begining ...Have you talked to him about spicing things up, getting the passion back? Do you go out for dinner, movies?If I were you, I'd clear my head of the other stuff, could get you into trouble or stranger danger stuff.
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