A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i've liked this girl for awhile now. We started out as friends what I usually do with girls. I don't fall for someone till I get to know them. We've been friends for about a year now, these feelings for her didnt start right away. I told her one day that I liked her and all she said was that she doesnt want to ruin our friendship if we get involved in something else. So I let that go because I knew that was exactly what she was going to say. After this we really didnt talk that much. I didnt talk to her about 3 weeks and she messaged me on msn saying that "I cut her out from my life" meaning I dont talk to her anymore. So we started talking again. About a month later I told her everything about the way I fealt for her and all she said was "dont worry nothing is going to change and im sorry im dealing with someone now". The guy that she was dealing with is now her boyfriend. She always comes to me with her problems about him and saying she never does anything wrong it is always her boyfriend. I dont want to be the person who she comes to when she has problems so is it a good idea that the next time she starts talking about this I tell her that im not her girlfriend and thats what she has them for to tell them her problems. I really like this girl I know shes the one but im stuck in this Friend Zone. Ive read on topics how to get out of the friend zone ive tryed many of it but it doesnt work and it makes it alot harder because she has a boyfriend. One day we were waiting at the doctors for me to get my stiches out she was sad because her boyfriend started talking with his ex girlfriend again and she was leaning on my shoulder with her head so I lifted her head and put my arm around her then she moved away with a weird look on her face. I dont know if I should remain friends with her and just hope that she can see more then friends or I should just stop talking to her because im not going anywhere like this. Discuss
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female
reader, josephy  +, writes (5 June 2009):
 she thinks that you'll be always there when things become worse. I assure you if she notice an ignoring from you in aday
she will start running after you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): If you stop behaving like her buddy and her girlfriend, she will stop treating you like one. She is not attracted to you and sees you more as a "reserve" guy, someone to call in when everyone else is busy, or when she needs validation.
I think it's better to let girls know from the very beginning what your intentions are. I know you say you grew to like her over time, but still.
Let her be for a bit. She only wants to be friends? Fine, but you can set some friend rules too. Like, sometimes you are busy, or, sometimes you don't want to be her therapist. Don't wait around for her. Don't fawn after her. Find a girl who is into you too and don't try to work your way into things by being a "friend" first, be a potential mate right from the start. This girl is not "the one" and the sooner you stop giving off that energy, the better she will treat you.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 You simply have got to stop communicating with her, because with what she is telling you, it is only a matter of time that she uses you for an excuse to cheat on her boyfriend.
After all that she has told you about not wanting to ruin your friendship, she certainly is doing her best to do so by putting you in this precarious position.
So cut her out of your life completely. You have to for your own sake, because she is playing you like a fiddle, young man.
The only one who stands to lose anything out of this is YOU!
She can tell you anything she wants, but she still goes back to him, right?
Yeah, you are getting played by this gal to lend emotional support, and you are getting the shit end of the stick. You already told her how you feel.
HUGE MISTAKE!
She sees SUCKER written across your forehead. she can look at you with the puppy dog eyes and you are falling for this crap!
You are very young, and there will be other women in your life. Go out and find one that wont play games with your heart.
Sorry if this isn't what you were hoping to hear...but be real about it...this girl is TROUBLE!
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