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He's a nice, polite guy so why no contact with me for 3 weeks! What's up with him?

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Question - (15 March 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 March 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hello,

I am slighly baffled here. I did the silly thing of getting drunk and sleeping with a guy, woke up in the morning and thought to myself 'oh no what have I done'!

However he did ask to see me again and we exchanged numbers. So we kept in touch and he arranged a date to take me out which he did and we had a really good time. Things had been going well and we saw one another quite regularly we only slept together again the first night he took me out for dinner. I didn't think it would be wise to always stay the night early in the relationship.

He went abroad for two weeks a week before valentines day to visit one of his parents as they don't live in the uk. When he got back he didn't even mention anything about valentines day.

But the day after he was back he did contact me saying he would like to see me soon, then I heard nothing since, this was almost 3 weeks ago! Just wondered what everyone thinks is going on here? He is a very polite and pleasant person, but suddenly ignoring me is rude when he said he wanted to see me! I did see him last week in town on a night out and we were chatting but I didn't want to ask why he hadn't got back to me about meeting up again as I was with friends and didn't want to make a scene.

When I see him again tho I think I am just going to ask him what has changed as I hate not knowing. I have not been contacting him and I am not the sort of woman to chase someone who is not into me. Do you think there is any harm in me finding out why he has not got back to me? We are likely to see one another as we live in a small town and go to the same places at the wkd.

WE are in mid 20's.

Thanks for your help. xx

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A reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (15 March 2007):

I Dont Lie agony auntA lot of this has to do with the way you guys met! Im in no way judging your actions, but intimate relationships formed by sexual encounters on the first date dont usually last. Truth is, its very rare that relationships like these do carry on to the next stage and there are reasons for this I believe. First, theres the trust issue that if you could do that with him, he'd think you could do it with someone else just like that when the spark has gone. Secondly, you've already given him the 'surprise' he wants on the first night, and theres nothing thrilling about the relationship anymore. Thirdly, when you have sex on the first encounter, you've hardly given him the time to really know the real you, and when he's got what he wants, do you really think he'll stick around? Fourthly, truth is, a lot of men do think that

My thoughts on this guy? Well, he's not exactly a bad guy, but because of the way he's met up with you the first night, he probably thinks he could have you on the sideline for sex again, which to be fair, you did. I wouldnt say he's not into you, but for the reasons Ive just stated, I would say that he just doesnt feel enough for you to want you to be his girlfriend!! Im sorry to break it to you this way, but your best move now, is not to wait for him and move on. Oh dont you worry, he'll be contacting you soon (you know why), but if you're thinking of wanting him to be your boyfriend then I think you better start looking elsewhere. Good luck!

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