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female
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anonymous
writes: I recently worked in a school theatre production working closely with two boys. One's just my friend but i really fell for the other boy and am totally nuts about him! I'm really in love and recently he was dumped by his girlfriend and has been single for quite a while. I don't know whether i should ask him out becuse he's a fantastic friend and i wouldn't want to shatter our friendship as he's said he really likes me and i prize him a great mate but i don't know whether i should ask him out. I'm in year 7 but he's in year 8 and will be leaving my school soon! I wouldn't wanna be dumped just becuse he wasn't at my school anymore! And i've never had a boyfriend anyway! Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2006): hey i am in exactlly the same postition! he is one of my best friends but i love him soo much i am pretty sure he doesnt fancy me but i dont reli no tho.I dont want to ruin our friendship by asking him out. Any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2006): Yeah...well i'm basing my feelings on some pretty solid evidence cuz i've known him for... just over 4 months? Yeah. And all of the school time in this time has practically been spent with him! 45 minutes of lunch time and 2 and a half hours after school- practically every day- doing rehearsals for the show and basically mucking around and having fun. Then even in the school holidays i spent several 7 hour days with him in the theatre. We'd laugh about things, talk about stuff (Everyone says he's real shy but he told me some really personal things)and generally have fun and he always made light of the boring rehearsals and also, during the performances he really kinda started flirting with me.I really think the situation developed becuse i was playing his mad mother and had to act all obsessed and loving... probably why i fell in love with him... and he's such a cutie! And its weird becuse i don't see him much now but i when i do see him his face lights up and he's all smiles!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2006): Thanx guys all of you. I asked if he had a mobile but he shares it with his mum so that wouldn't be very appropriate! He doesn't have MSN or AIM either! tho i text his best friend alot and he said he'd convince him to get MSN. I'll consider asking if he likes me through this friend but this friend is a bit scared of me for some reason (!) so i dunno...Your all real cool. ^_^
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2006): well i have not long been going with my gf, and i was in the same boat as you, since the start of this school year, we had been very good mates, and i started to like her... but i did not ask her out because i was scared if she said no would we still be mates? so why not get your mate to ask what he think's of you?
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female
reader, Beautiful_Suicide +, writes (13 April 2006):
 This is always a massive dilemma..I have some experience of this as I went out with my best mate and eventually we messed up because we knew eachother too well and now we don't really speak..but we had some amazing times as a couple which we might not have had if we hadn't been really really good friends before hand you know what I mean? It is really nice to have a boyfriend you get on well with because it's easier to be yourself around them...but there is a real danger of losing him as a friend if you break up badly; but if you are close then hopefully it won't happen to you! -fingers crossed- try talking to him about the issue and see what he thinks because he might not want to put the friendship in jeopardy - oh and don't worry about him leaving school if you guys are really good friends he wouldn't dump you for that reason..me and my ex were at different schools and he was a year older than me and it didn't matter..really hope this helped -- Sass x
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reader, Anja +, writes (13 April 2006):
 Ahhh!! Bit of a dilemna hey? Well you must have been getting some really good vibes from him to fall in love with him without actully going out with him! Mmmm it is tricky... bear in mind though that relationships come and go...where as friends are there all the time. What are you basing your feelings on? I would'nt worry if you have not yet had a boyfriend, even if your mates have, but I bet that their realtionships didn't mean much. Much better to wait for the right one at the right time, never go out with someone for the wrong reasons.... I think you may regret saying how you feel to this guy, better to stay friends. He has just broken up with a girl, so just be supportive to him, he will appreciate that far more then revealing your feelings to him as he may think you may be taking advantage of his vunerability, you would more then likely get hurt as he may not be able to think straight himself at the moment! And as he won't be at your school any longer, you have a bit of space away from him to review you feelings, it will be easier to deal with! Take care, and good luck...!!
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reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (13 April 2006):
 Well, how about giving him hints you like him a lot? Maybe you could get a friend to ask if he fancies you? You are right to be wary of first boyfriends. It all depends if you think it's a crush and will be over in a few weeks or whether you actually see anyform of relationship going anywhere.
Give the boy time, if he's just been dumped his ego is going to have a pretty big dent in it. Wait for a while, see if things develop. If they don't after a while leave it. Wait for a bit, see if you get any signs of him fancying you. If you wait a bit but feel you can't wait any more, jump in at the deep end and ask him out yourself. Though I warn you, there is a massive chance of him saying no as you are younger and that would not be cool. Especially if you ask him infront of his mates. Maybe you could casually ask him if he's got msn and do it over the internet. Tell him how you feel and go for it!
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reader, Jack Bauer's lover +, writes (13 April 2006):
 Awww sweety,
Listen, I have been in this situation when i was your age, i was in love with a guy who was two years older then me. We eventually did go out but two weeks later he left my school.
We tried to see each-other everyday after school, but he was a bit of a bad boy, and kept getting after school detentions. It was because of that reason that we ended.
There is life out of school, and even if you cant see each other there is always telephones around.
You say you havent had a boyfriend before, but that doesnt matter. Honest! There is a first time for everything, like your first pet, your first best friend and your first boyfriend.
Dont let this put you off, just remember, one day he would have had to have had a first girlfriend, so he'll proberly sympathise with you.
If he is anysort of a good friend, he should be a good boyfriend, and i think that he wouldnt dump you just for leaving your school.
I think that friends come before boyfriends and girlfriends. However, if you spend lots of time with a certain boy-mate, you start to have feelings for them, so this lad, MIGHT (and i emphasise might because i'm not a mind reader!)have feelings for you too honey.
As he has just got out of a relationship, give it a little bit more time. Spend time with him, you know just laughing and joking around, doing what kids do best. Then if you think it is wise, ask him out.
It is best to ask out a lad when he is on his own, as mates seem to influence there choice!
Some peopleare really against risking friendships for relationships, but i have always taken that risk, I mean you only live once right, and my motto is "I'm only here once, so everything has got to be perfect, i dont want second best!"
I have found that if you ask them in private, and just say look, i care for you more then a friend, see what he says, and if its a no, then say i hope this hasnt effected our friendship, coz at the end of the day nothing has changed except that i care for you most out of my circle of friends.
I hope this has helped and i'd love to hear your reply!!!
Take care sweetpea xx
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