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female
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*oucie
writes: I was meant to be seeing D this thurs or fri as i never saw him last week as he worked late. He only see's me once a fortnight and im getting a bit fed up with it all. I like him an awful lot and we get on well, we're great friends really but we do fancy each other and both want more than friendship. He keeps saying things will get better soon ,when he hasn't got to pay so much money out to solicitors because he is going to court to get proper access to see his little son. I try to be understanding,as he has to have petrol money to see me, as I live about hour an half away from him and i can't drive. He now probably won't see him this week as his money hasn't gone in bank because of bank holiday. I was angry and i did say to him, does he really want to see me. He said he does and he would tell me straight if he didn.t. He wants to organise a weekend when I can got to his for a night, spend time together. I don't stop going out and seeing other men if i get asked out, as he just doesn't commit himelf to me. I don't want to loose him altogether but I do want more. He is off to holland just for one night this easter weekend, I presume he had it booked ages . he's going with men from work, I certainly don't want to stop him from doing his own thing either, as i know he doesn't go far, only to see his children on sunday. What do I do????
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (13 April 2006):
 I kind of agree with the other answer. Reading off the screen it seems to me that he is giving you all he can right now and I think that although you recognise that it is frustrating you a little?
I think if you push him directly for more it will be counterproductive and might end up pushing him away. I think you need to try and seperate emotions from logistics a little. Emotions for you both seems to be pushing you closer but the logistics of the situation are preventing you from doing that. Maybe if you are feeling a stronger emotional bond then you should talk to him about that; let your emotions pull you through the situation?
You have to play the long-ball game. When you are through this time then there will be a time when he can devote more time and committ more but that is not so for the moment and I am not sure there is anything you can do to change that. As above, take little steps at a time. Maybe you could spend some regular time together on the phone or online when he is not able to visit? Hope that helps.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2006): Just relax, ok?
He obviously likes you a lot as like you said, he doesn't get much money but still spends some of it on petrol just to see you. Maybe you should just take it easy, one tiny baby step at a time. A relationship built on trust anf friendship can sometimes work out better then one based on attraction. Take it slowly, you are probably someone he can count on, and if he's trying to get access to his son, which is a stressful time, he'll need you there. It could pull you two together.
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