A
female
age
30-35,
*iljo
writes:My boyfriend is a gamer. we live together.I love him, but he spends so much time on his ps3, i find myself becoming resentful. I don't mean 1-3 hours per day, i'm fine with that! I'm talking 6-10.. whenever he's not sleeping or working, he's gaming.I've given him ultimatums and he's said he's going to play less... but nothings working. I've tried becoming more "okay" with it, but its to no avail. a girl has needs and standards...its just hard because when he WANTS to spend time with me, its great and i love him so much. We would fight significantly less if he just...nurtured my needs a little more. I just feel like im done ignoring myself and something needs to be done, but i don't want us to break up.Is it fair to force him to stop playing video games? or is that too controlling and inconsiderate? If the latter is true, i fear we're on the verge of a break up.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 March 2012):
 We had to set up rules. My fiance is addicted to City of Heroes. He plays from after dinner till bed time...
but he has to take a break for dinner with me and if I ask for a special time, he will normally comply.
can you guys set up a schedule (put it in writing if need be) so that he knows when "couple time" is and he had to adhere to that.
the question is "if he does not are you willing to end the relationship?"
because in order to get him to see how serious this is you may have to take drastic steps... and if he does not give up game time for you, leaving may be the only thing you can do.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (10 March 2012):
 Sigh, gamers are hard, same as people who like football, or who play golf or do anything obsessively. The problem is, some of these people will claim to be in training, some of them guys who play football will eventually get on a team, some gamers, poker players, will start to make money. Some people practice the piano obsessively, some will end up getting into the business but most will not.I'm a gamer, have been most of my life, and it's gaming that taught me all about computers so I never had to take a course in my life, instead I'm always being asked to give people training.The other problem with gamers, is like many things, it is highly addictive. He probably doesn't realise how much time he spends on it, and he doesn't realise how many things in life he is missing. You can ask him to go cold turkey and only use the computer on a certain day. Say give him Tuesday's and Thursday's for gaming, and he'll have to work around that. If he can't give up, if he needs to be on it all the time, you've got an addicted man on your hands and nothing you can do or say will get through to him.Make lots of arrangements for him and you to go out. Outside there are no computers and he won't be able to play. If he keeps breaking the appointments, again you'll know he's addicted. But like all addicted people, he has to admit he has a problem, and until he does this he won't stop. Make dates for him to join you outside, arrange most of the week as computer free days. If he won't come or he keeps playing then I suggest you leave him. He doesn't need a girlfriend, he has one already and her name is computer.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 March 2012):
 Maybe you need to find a guy who wants to be with you, not with his games.
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A
female
reader, heather016  +, writes (10 March 2012):
I know what you mean. I thought it was only me when I was with my ex. I thought all girlfriends were okay with this. Talking to him wouldn't really make a difference. Well, depends. He might either tell you all his friends' gfs are okay with it or he might say you are being needy. You know him best. Maybe talk to him and see how he reacts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2012): Talk to him about it, you have to make it absolutely clear to him how you feel! He needs to know his relationship is in danger. Dont chase him around, go out with mates or find a hobby you're interested in. If he realises how distant you have become from him and makes an effort to see you; work on it. If he doesn't and continues. End it. You deserve more!! You aren't being unreasonable, it's important for him to realise your problems not ignore you and play on his stupid console. A relationship is a two-way thing and unfortunately he may have to learn the hard way. Good luck honey xxxx
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (10 March 2012):
 If you've tried talking about it, and he hasn't changed, the writing is already on the wall. Dump him and find someone who will pay attention to you and value your time like it deserves to be valued. If you stay, you'll just be miserable.
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