A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello... Ive been dating my boyfriend for a year and almost 4 months now. We both love each other so much.. Theres one problem though.. Im a Muslim and hes Catholic. My family is religious and his is not. He met my mother today for the first time, FINALLY. She likes him but once he left, she told me if he doesnt convert then theres no point of being with him. I dont know what to do :( If my father found out im dating a catholic guy, he would disown me. My family is really not open minded at all. I absolutely love my boyfriend to pieces and my family as well. I do not want to lose them. What do I do? I need help... Im not even religious, I love my bf for who he is!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2012): If God didn't want us to fall in love we wouldn't have that emotion, just do what you want to. Religion these days is far too strict, what's the point in having free will if you have to blindly follow your parents will. At the end of the day it is your life and if your parents caren't respect that it's their loss, not yours.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): If you are a true Muslim woman you should not be dating a non Muslim man because a non Muslim woman can not marry a nonmuslim man. So you need to think about that too. I am not a Muslim yet but I am engaged to a Muslim man and I am very close to his family and I do know all the rules. Please becareful no man is worth loosing your family over because u never know if he will always be there but your family always will be.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (10 March 2012):
 Don't mention anything more about your boyfriend and marriage, wait for a couple of years until they get used to seeing him around and finally get the message that you are not leaving him for anyone else.Yes Muslim parents can be strict about marriage, sex and dating, but these Muslim parents, like many parents are having to change and loosen their hold because the world is very different now and they cannot keep control.Wait a couple of years until your actually ready to marry this guy, then you can think about whether he converts or not, or whether you both throw away religion and stand on your own two feet. If your family chooses to disown you, that is the price you have to pay for living in the modern way and not letting them arrange your marriage/find your partner which is something they would probably be more comfortable with.Right now your relationship is too new for you to get yourself or your family worried. With time, many things may change. At 20 odd, you can actually do whatever you want, but your parents also have the choice to never talk to you again... worry about it later.
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A
male
reader, virman  +, writes (10 March 2012):
I agree with Cindy, I m from a Muslim family and few of my cousins have married Christians. See being a Muslim I understand what you are going through.
But here the choice is mainly not between religions but between your family and your love. You have to weigh who is more imp. Are you ready to go against 25yrs love of your parents or 16months love of your boyfriend. Frankly even if you had dated a Muslim guy this prob would have been the same.
The thing is that most of our parent's generation have been married by arrange marriages and they feel its the safest bet, you cant blame them as the divorce rate is at peak, especially in the west.
So just make up your mind, in the end its all ur decision, who you want to be with and who matters more :)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 March 2012):
 I don't think this has come as a big surprise, as a Muslim you must already have known that Muslim women can only marry Muslim men .
It's a hard choice and I feel for you, then again it's not really a matter of parents being close-minded or backward , It's a matter of believing in a certain faith , or not.
Your parents are believers and they embrace their religion with all it entails, no shortcuts and no customizing the rules.Islam means submission ( to God's will ) even when implies personal renounces and sacrifices , as in renouncing to the "wrong " partner ; so expecting that they " come around " in the name of modernity and cultural relativism is not only too optimistic , but ultimately disrespectful. Asking them to accept your Christian partner is asking them to give up a part of their own essence, to stop being true to themselves. If for being true to themselves they'll have to disown their daughter, ...it's quite possible they will, I have seen that happening.
The problem is that you don't have the same faith and don't believe the same things, so YOU have to be true to yourself and make a hard choice, unluckily you can't keep your cake and eat it too. You'll have to decide if having this man is worth the possibility of being shunned by your family and community maybe forever.
I think in your decision you should consider objectively the level of committment in your relationship. You mention you have been together 16 months ( which is not such a long time ) and you refer to your relationship simply as " dating ".
Of course it's different if you have already decided you are going to be together forever , and he would marry you tomorrow if you say yes... or if you are still "seeing how it goes " and "taking it a day at a time ". In this second case, maybe it's not worth to cause a major, maybe irreparable rift within your family for something that may or may not pan out eventually.
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