A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’m engaged to a man 30 years older than me. We’ve been together seven years almost eight. The only thing we’ve had minor discussions about is sex. I want sex more often than him. We’ve never done it twice in one day even! He’s the only man I’ve had sex with and I’m wondering... should I still marry him? He’s perfect in every other way. It seems petty but, I’ll always feel like I want more. What should I do??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2019): I want sex more often than my wife, but I cope.
You have to ask yourself how important sex is to you,
and whether the other areas of your relationship help balance out your overall satisfaction.
For a lot of people masturbation makes up for the lower sex frequency than what they desire.
A
male
reader, Pepi let pew  +, writes (25 April 2019):
 Forgive me for saying this... But Its not going to work. You are sexualy frustrated. You need to ask yourself if its worth living the rest of your life without sex. Or enjoy a loveing sexual relationship with someone more compatable. This is something that is not petty..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2019): By the way Viagra and Cialis may help with erectile-dysfunction; but they don't increase your sex-drive. These prescription medications are not used as aphrodisiacs. They aid in the flow of blood into the spongy-tissue in the shaft of the penis; to cause it to engorge with blood and facilitate erection. In some men (regardless of age), they still don't achieve a full erection. If a man has injury or diabetes, these medications may not work at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2019): A man's testosterone levels starts to decline starting after the age of 35. Some men maintain a robust sex-drive well into their 60's and 70's; but for your fiance, that isn't the case.
My dear, there is no set rule where a human's sex-drive should be at any given age; but there are norms and abnormalities that occur when we speak in terms of averages.
Another issue is erectile-dysfunction from aging, although the sex-drive or libido doesn't change. If a man doesn't take care of himself, uses drug, smokes, or consumes a lot of alcohol; he can prematurely lower his sex-drive. His testosterone levels will plummet!
If sex isn't a very important component in your relationship; you wouldn't have written a post.
You need to read articles and medical publications about the male-libido and sex-drive; and gain some knowledge and understanding of the male-physiology. It amazes me how many women write here; who seem to think a man ought to be able to spring into action like a robot or a machine. My dear, the penis sometimes has a mind of its own! The sex-drive determines how much action you'll get out of your partner! In this case, he's 30 years older; and he will continue getting older. By the time you're in your 40's at the peak of your sex-drive; he'll be in his late 70's or 80's. Bear this all in-mind!
Get your pros and cons in order; before you step into a marriage that you will be unhappy with.
Sometimes good diet, exercise, consistent physical-activity, no smoking, and limited consumption of alcohol is all it takes to raise testosterone-levels naturally. Sometimes adding vitamin supplements to his diet may offer limited help. Have him see his doctor to determine if he has developed any medical-conditions that may be lowering his sex-drive or testosterone levels. If he's a smoker or heavy-drinker? There you have it!
Aging is not a chronic-disease, or a disability; it is a fact of life. The body starts to change, and you can't do everything like you used to. With good health, you can slow-down the process of aging. You have to come to terms with that; if you want an older husband and lover.
From a millenial's perspective, this stuff may not make any sense. Aging is something younger-people don't seem to understand, or just prefer to ignore. Many young people detest or gross-out over older people. It's quite disturbing. We all age by the second.
In any case; as you age, your sex-drive naturally declines. Regardless of your gender.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2019): I'm 70, on Viagra, my wife is 65. I want it everyday. She's good with every other day. We just got back from a 2 week vacation, her apatite was everyday. Sea air I guess. Two days we did it twice. After a week I was worn out. So I woke her up every morning with oral. She enjoyed that even more, it last longer ,,, she fantasizes some cool stuff. And I love giving it. So have a discussion about oral.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (25 April 2019):
 This is one of the downsides of marrying someone quite abit older than you. You are in your sexual prime and he is probably experiencing possible erectile dysfunction, lowered libido and honestly other than Viagara not sure what can be done to solve this.
My ex husband was 10 years older than me, and by the time he hit his mid 40's he was having serious problems with sex (he was also an alcoholic so that didn't help matters) but I feel your pain. The odds are things will NOT get better.
You need to decide if you are willing to put up with this or if it is a deal breaker. He will NOT be able to keep up with you in your sexual peak. If you cannot come up with some sort of happy solution you are going to be very frustrated which could lead to cheating.
Sex is important, more to some than others but in the end it helped destroy my marriage because my husband was too interested in alcohol to seek help. I did not want to live from my early 40's until who knows when with a man who couldn't/wouldn't try to make our sex life better.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (25 April 2019):
 It’s not petty, mismatched sex drives are a very common thing and leads to the breakdown of many relationships. Just think if it’s bad now, what’s it going to be like when he gets even older?
You’re going to be sexually frustrated married to an OAP.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2019): He’s getting older. He’s not in his sexual prime, whereas you are or are heading there. This will only get worse, not better, because he’ll be slowing down into retirement and you have your whole adulthood left. Didn’t you think of this when you became serious with him? He’s aging 30 years before you are. You marriage will struggle if you’re already not sexually matched.
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