A
male
age
41-50,
*ONECRAZY
writes: My girlfriend goes on business trips every week to two weeks. For overnights no big deal, until little things like bruises on her arms neck mouth and between her legs even. She tries to cover them up but I'm not doing them. Also her rectum seems easier to get into and her vagina seems more loose. I say things but she still denies it. Is she cheating?
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male
reader, Sandman +, writes (15 August 2007):
I'm gonna play devil's advocate on this one...
Maybe her rectum is more loose because she's preparing it for you. Maybe she's using a buttplug or some other device to stretch her rectum before you get in there and do your thing. It make it less painful/uncomfortable for her and more enjoyable. The loose vagina thing - can't speak on that. From what I hear, sometimes the vagina just gets loose like that. But it DOES have wonderful elasticity like hlskitten said. Pehaps when she's on her trips she misses the sex with you and purchased a toy of some sort. Maybe it's a rather large toy (dildo or whatever) that she uses to get off while away on trips. If she's using one of those huge telephone pole dildos, I do think things will feel a bit 'loose'. You did say that overnight trips were no big deal
(assuming she's not feeling loose after these trips) so I'm assuming the longer trips are the problem. So she could be taking care of herself while on long trips. The short ones don't matter because she'll be home soon to get what she needs from you. Maybe.
Bruises. There are people out there who bruise quite easily. And maybe she's getting a bit carried away with her new toy. Maybe she's acting out fantasies on her own that fear that you will look down on her if she tells you about them. Maybe she wants it rough - or more rough than you've been giving her so she does it on her own. Maybe.
Or it could be worse and she could be cheating on you. Like the others have said, you'll have to go with your gut on this one. Sometimes your gut is all you've got. I suspected my soon-to-be ex-wife of cheating and she denied it also. I found a message in her phone that made me suspicious. There was no other indication until she started not wanting sex with me. Then, with my 'gut' feelings decided she was screwing her "mentor". She still denies it but my gut tells me otherwise. Listen to your gut, it might be trying to tell you something - OR you COULD just be reading into something that isn't there.
Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (14 August 2007):
Hi
The bruises might be something (not sex related necassarily) but the sex thing? Thats just plain crazy. Sex with different people doesnt make the vagina looser????? Some women have passed a 10 pounds baby through that canal & it doesnt get looser. Its got amazing elasticity.
Im all for trusting your instincts but do you think its possible you're not as comfortable with her business trips as you thought you were & are over analysing? Its a common thing to do.
Ive never got bruises anywhere from having sex before? And without going into graphic details, i havent just lay on my back most the time.
Unless shes being bouced round the room? I would have a chat about the going away thing, if you think maybe thats bothering you. It probably would me to be honest. I would miss my partner :o(
All the best.
C xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): The bruising does certainly leave doubt in one's mind, the looseness isn't a reliable predictor as there could be other things going on, but I agree that you should be careful and try to get to the bottom of this as soon as you can, you could be endangering your health and even life, take care of you!
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A
female
reader, NiX-bAbY +, writes (14 August 2007):
Hi,
Whenever you've got an instinct about something, 99% of the time you are usually right.
If your girlfriend really wants to be with you then she will deny any cheating, in fear that you will leave her..
You obviously dont trust her otherwise you wouldnt be asking for advice, and without trust there is nothing..
Sometimes when you cant prove things you over analyse things to make sense.. this will drive you crazy.
Maybe you should try not asking her questions and do a bit of your own investigating...
I hope you get to the bottom of this and things work out ok... but remember if she has been cheating and you forgive her, theres a strong chance she will do it again do you really want to go through that?
Good look with whatever you decide x
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (14 August 2007):
Go with your gut feeling on this, if she has bruises that you have not done and she is trying to cover them up then i would probably be feeling the same as you.
Don't leave it too long, as she might not be using protection if she is sleeping with someone and you do not want to get left with any reminders.
Take care.xx.
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