A
female
age
30-35,
*nashia
writes:Hey so I wanted to know how to tell my friend her crush doesn't like her. My friend and I are very close and we trust each other.Her crush rides my bus so she is always wanting me to ask him questions so I do.Once I asked him if he likes her and he said no she's ugly and he said I don't go for girls like her I was all "what the heck do you mean by girls like her?". Anyways she asked me what he said the next day and I only told her the part about how he doesn't date girls like her but switched it around a bit. I want to tell her but I don't want to ruin her day by saying that her real crush doesn't like her. And once a dude on the bus dared her crush to hug me and he did a little hug thats all. of course I was confused but went with it I don't like him by the way. He is meanish too. Calling my best friend ugly. He is pretty popular. Please help. I don't know what to do to helpp. And be nice about this too. Thx Xoxo A
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 March 2013):
 I would say "look I know you really like him but TRUST ME he's not interested and I no longer want to relay messages, you really need to let this go and I'm done with it"
and that's that.
when she brings him up say "I know it's sucks but there is no point talking about it, there is no way he's going to like you the way you want, please let it go."
A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (29 March 2013):
 You already told her everything she needs to know, which is that he's not into her type. There really isn't anything you can do to curb someone's attraction; it happens on its own. It might help to hang out places where she can fall for someone else, though?
P.S. Are you sure you're in the 18-21 age range? Where are you guys that you're riding designated buses and your friend needs you relaying messages between her and her crush?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013): I am going to take a different stand from everyone else here.
Tell her.
There are some innocent girls like me who do not understand that guys are very strict about leagues.If you tell her now,you are helping her for life.She will never make a fool of herself again over a popular guy.She will begin to understand if a guy is in a league above her and keep away from him.
Be a good friend.tell her exactly what he said about her.It also seems like he likes you.If I had been in your shoes,I would have told her that too.
Ask her to speak to the school counselor about her unrequited crush.Any kind of obsession is unhealthy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 March 2013):
 Then stop enabling her obsession. Refuse to be a go between, refuse to ask him stuff about her, when she starts raving about him change subject, try to distract her or tell her bluntly, enough I am sick and tired of talking about your obsession. This is not healthy for you and I won't help you fueling it, period.
You can be a good friend without being blunt and cause her humiliation. Stay out of this, sooner or later, and probbaly sooner than later, she'll realize that it's a no go. A good friend will just be there for here to comfort her and cheer her up when this happens, no need to be so heavy handed now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013): That's not your problem, though. That she is "obsessed" is still not a good enough reason for you to tell her the mean things he said. As a friend, you should coach her and help her keep her mind on something else. Not enable her obsession. Go out and meet other guys with her. Like I said if she keeps pressing tell her he doesn't say much about it. Tell her you suspect he likes another girl and encourage her to get her mind off of him. That's all you can really do. And what's this that your best friends crush was dared to hug you and you were "confused but went with it." What's so confusing about it? It seems pretty blunt and straightforward that your "obsessed" friend probably wouldn't like that. I mean by all means if you want to hurt your "obsessed" friend then go ahead and tell her. If you don't want to hurt her then DON'T. And dont be so "confused" next time he gets dared to do something to you. It's pretty plain and simple.
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A
female
reader, Anashia +, writes (29 March 2013):
Anashia is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThx for the answer but she is like obsessed with him like SUPER OBSESSED like she once threatened a girl who he likes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013): You can tell her without actually telling her specifically what he said. When she asks just say, "I don't know he doesn't tell me much when I ask." which is sorta true, because realistically he hasn't told you what she wants to hear. Then try to encourage her to move on, so say, "He's kind of a skeezy, and mean. I think you can do better." And if she keeps pressing, just keep telling her that you try to talk to him but he blows your questions off (sorta true) and you find him mean. Boom. Done and done. You don't have to tell her specifics.
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