A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I kinda don't know what to do... I am soo unhappy .. miserable and lonely. We have been broken up for a half a year now (no contact at all). Our relationship was good, some fights here and there mostly because I was way to jealous... but I know he loved me and I loved him. We broke up after a week of vocation where he met a new girl.. left me, lied about it... now he is with her, but I know for a fact, he is not happy (from friends and family)Anyway... I miss him. I loved that man so much. I tried to move on, I met some other people but I just can't seem to be happy with anyone even if they are the best guys on earth. I just want him, I miss him, I need him, I love him with all my heart. I have not tried to contact him... but friends are telling me, that maybe I should write him a short email and let him know, that I miss him.... I am not sure what to do. I am very confused and even though I really want him back... I don't want to make a fool out of myself by making a mistake when writing some weird email and telling him how much I love him... I am lost... I can't take this any more. I am so miserable, so unhappy and it's not getting better with time.. it's worse with time... I moved away, I changed my life completely to be as far as I can be from him... but somehow life is shooting me back and I can't get out of that black hole ... I don't know what to do any more... I know I love him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, we broke up because his father set up this strange thing w the other girl. His father never agreed w me being w his son, cause I am different religion. But we went through it, and I thought we will be ok now ... and i trusted him , when he told me, he loves me and i have to trust him that he would never do what his father wants him to do, but than he took him away for a vocation .. and he came back completely different ... and we broke up 4 days after he got back ...
than i found out,... there was this other girl .. same religion as he was .. and his father is in heaven, that he is w her ... but his friends and family told me, he is not happy w her and the realationship is not good (not to mention, she lives 6 hours drive from him).
Im not sure if writing email is the right thing to do ... but maybe I should ... maybe he should know that i still think of him ... and that i forgive him ...and maybe I shouldnt ... but which answer is the right answer
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): I just read what the girl said and I kind of disagree. I feel you should write an email, asking him why he did this to you, & let him know you are still in pain. Don't say I love you this & that, but seek some answers. This way you can get some type of closure. I feel for you, because I know your pain. But believe me when I say this too shall pass. He doesn't love you & never did. If you love someone, ur not just gonna leave them high & dry. He was wrong. And you need to keep telling yourself that. That's gonna be your motivation to move on. I hope this helps, and I wish you the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): Wow its weird but I am going through the exact same thing right now but I made the mistake of sending the email a few days ago. I just re-read the email today and because I was so emotional at time of writing, it sounds so desperate and needy that I hope to God he didnt get the email. Appartently there are 6 stages to a break up and sounds like we are on stage 3 which is the "crappy stage". I am not sure how long its meant to last, I guess it varies from person to person. My ex is now married to another woman but keeps telling me he is unhappy but the fact remains he's with her and not me so everytime I am tempted to run back to him and settle for the crap he is willing to give me in our relationship, I remind myself I'm not a dog and deserve more than scraps. I wish really wish I did not send the email but hey maybe his non response is the rejection I need to move on. Stay strongxxx
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Break ups are never easy especially when you're broken up with. Pliz don't send him an email, coz remember, he left you and not vice versa. Don't listen to your friends and family telling you he still loves you. Friends and family will tell you anything when they see you're still hurting. If he left you for her, and he's not happy then he would have had no problems leaving her to come back to you. Even if he breaks up with her, you can't take him back coz you don't know when he will meet someone again and leave you. I know it's hard, I've been there but you just have to be strong and give yourself time. You will look back one day and actually laugh about it. But as for now, it's rough but just keep yourself entertained and busy. Don't ask what he's doing or how he is doing. Let it go and it will be okay.
My fiance cheated on me years ago and I thought I would never get over him. I remember sitting on my bed, crying and wishing they made a pill that I could pop so I can get over him coz the pain was so bad. Now I look back and can't believe I actually thought I was in love with that joker. I definitely dodged a bullet and I'm glad for it.
I know what you're going thru and I'm wishing you well.
Kayla
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