A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:After about nine months of dating, my boyfriend tells me he had a three year relationship with his cousin. He mentioned this relationship was hidden from family and friends, that no one knew what they were doing. It ended when she cheated on him. About 8 months later he meets me. Our relationship was great. But ever since he toldme I have it in the back of my mind. She is going to be married soon. Her soon to be husband does not know. I feel my boyfriend still wants her... cause he has been depressed since he found out.
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (22 March 2011):
 Well so did Elenore Roosevelt and she became the first lady!
A
female
reader, dizelle  +, writes (22 March 2011):
 Hi,well here is my take on it.its all about u now-here are sum questions u should ask urself as a 1st task,how do u feel about it?can u get over his past and how he is reacting 2 his cousin wedding?can u live with this knowledge of the relationship and not have issues or insecurities about it bearing in mind u might see her at family get 2gethers and they might have 2 interact with 1 another?if u answered no/negatively 2 any of these questions u should consider leaving him more seriously. The second part is that u should also try talking 2 him and being completely honest with him and ask him gently and patiently 2 b completely honest with u about his feelings(this part should b handled carefully meaning without fighting).at the end of the day its all about feeling ok,sane,secure and happy entirely inside(listen 2 that small voice inside u)
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A
male
reader, yazanco  +, writes (22 March 2011):
This is normal to feel depressed when you know that someone you have loved and had sex with, is going to marry, coz he and she did build some dreams together, i feel it is okay.
If we leave or break-up with a woman, we will still have something for her but not to the extent of uniting again, just memories.
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A
female
reader, sneha09  +, writes (22 March 2011):
 Since she is the 1st cousin of your bf,there is a lots of chance that she will come in contact with him often(either through family get together or other matters), thats for sure.So there is a less chance that your bf can totally avoid her,you should keep it in mind.So try to know if he is really interested in you and shares everything he faces now(I am not talking about whether he tells each and everything about his past) and ask about his feelings(what he feels now) for her as a friend.Too bitter or too good feelings can prove equally wrong indicating he is not out of it.If you find everything is really fine,and both of you are trying to look forward keeping his past behind,then go for it but if either of you cannot get it out of mind,then better to stay back.
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