A
female
age
30-35,
*leanorstar
writes:Hi this has never happened to me before but i was wondering..is it bad to date ur friend's ex...i mean i know its bad if u r close friends ..but we r not..i actually rarely see or talk to her...or used to cause she's not talking to me anymore. I don't want to hurt her but at the same time i can't not date any of the just friends' exes...id end up single forever cuz i have so many friends. what do u think?? me and this guy really hit it off and also the way it happened was quite unexpected so...:) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 March 2011):
 If you're no longer talking to her then he's free to date. But if you want to be safe, contact this girl and ask her how she feels about it, and give her time to think about it.
But, if you do ask and she says you can't date him, then you can't. It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
I say date him, and if she gets upset she'll get over it in time. You're not best friends, and you aren't talking to her much either.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): I avoid getting too intimate with men who have dated my friends. I've definitely been tempted at times, but I've never wanted to handle the ensuing awkwardness and drama. If you have an active friendship or even an active acquaintance with a woman(you work with her or see her every day), then I wouldn't reccomend dating someone she previously dated. If the boy has dated someone else inbetween you and this acquaintance, then I would say, it's fair game...or at least it makes it appear that way.
It's a hard rule to follow because if you're all part of a cirlce of friends you tend to run into each other alot and you start having feelings for people...it's a bit inevitable. There are also some guys that just like to work their way through a pack of women. They get bored with one, then they come onto her friend, they get bored with her and then approach her friend...If he's one of these types, he's probably not interested in you in particular.
In your case, it sounds like this women might dislike you already just because the guy took an interest in you...If you rarely see her and talk to her, go for it... Just don't be surprised if she gets catty or starts to harass you.
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