A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi xxIm so confused, i Really do need some help :'( My boyfriend and i have been together 4 years (were 20) and hes recently (last 6 months) come out as being bisexual, and i really want to be okay with it and to understand how he feels and to support him but when i try and talk to him about it he closes up. i do really feel its my business as hes told me hes slept with a guy behind my back, we have a 10 month old little girl together, and i love him with everything i am but i cant stop thinking about it, im not against gay, lesbian, bi, You are who you are, but its so hard to come to terms with my boyfriend. i hope that doesnt make me sound like a hypocrite. I really need help :'( My Best Friend is Openly Gay and he says he thinks my man is gay and in denial and has heard "through the grapevine" That My Man is still sleeping with men whilst away im london seeing Family (we live in manchester) hes also a member of a social networking site i wasnt aware of and is listed as "Single male 20 yrs, Gay, No kids" Not only is he denying me but hes denying My Angel Little Girl as well and that breaks my heart the mostI just dont know what to do, Shall i get me and him tested for any STD's and STI's? Shall i leave him :'( How Can i understand His sexuality?Im at breaking point. im falling to pieces with this and its breaking my heart :'( Please Please Help Me xxxxxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou :'( I've Ended it, me and our daughter are left this morning xxx i tried talking to him and he told me to F*** Off, so i Left XXXX
A
female
reader, EtTuBrute  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 I think you already know the answer to your question dear. You're leaning in the right direction anyway.
Yes, get yourself and him tested. If he refuses, get yourself tested anyway. You have the right to ask whether he used protection or not. Talk to him about your concerns about STDS.
He does sound like he's gay but too afraid to admit it. I think he is staying with you to prove to himself he's not totally gay. Coming out as bisexual is to see who will support him in this. Even if you do break up, let him know there's nothing wrong with liking men. What was wrong was cheating on you. Just because it was with a guy, does not make it okay.
I do think you should leave him. He cheated on you. The fact that he doesn't want to acknowledge he's in a committed relationship with a woman that has a child he's supposed to be a father figure for, is a major sign you need to get rid of this man. As a mom, you have to do what's best for your daughter too. Don't let her get attached to a man that's not 100% committed to the both of you.
If you want to try to work it out. Ask him if he has more of an attraction to men. Don't openly ask if he's gay because he may get angry and deny it. Hint around to it and express your feelings about it being alright. (Because it truly is!)Then let him know that whatever his preferences are, he's still in a relationship and needs to start acting like it. You really need to have a long talk with him if you're even going to think about working it out.
Hope this helps a bit. Good luck! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): hi the chap i am dating is a psycholosgist and a dr also..he is bi sexual,,,first thing he told me was....i am with you there is no need for me to be unfaithful, like all humans we all have the choice to be faithful in what ever realtinship we are in...he said never to accpet any excuse for unfaithfulness and i agree!
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