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female
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anonymous
writes: I need some insight on a situation. I recently split from my partner of 3 years, and I just want to know about a "rebound". How do you know when someone is the rebound? How do you get over someone that you really loved and planned on being with, then out of nowhere comes the famous pathetic line, "It's not you, it's me" "I don't want this relationship anymore"I'm still angry and want him to feel the pain that I'm going through, "if not worse", as I really despise him so much now.Will we ever get over a love like that? The kind of love that you would die for? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, orkney girl +, writes (6 June 2006):
yes we will get over a love like that- because we're worth it, like the advert says. Let me tell you a short story-'my' fella did the it's not you thing then changed his mind, I was overjoyed, he'd finally offered me everything I wanted, marriage, kids the whole lot! 3 days later he changed his mind again, I was devistated totally destroyed even more so when I found he had gone back to his 'X'. He came to my house 4 days after I found this out. he was knocking on the door and getting very aggresive, my neighbour phoned the police..and because it was a 'domestic' they locked him up all weekend...he wasn't a happy chappy, but thats not the end of it! the day after he got out of nick I went to a birthday party, he found out I was there with my car...you guessed it the bastard phoned the coppers and they've charged me with been drunk in charge of a vehicle. what has all this got to do with YOUR story? just this...I still love him. Love takes time to get over, it's just like berievement...it's a loss and god it hurts. sometimes worse than the death of a loved one because there's that itch to see them, to go where they might be just to catch a glimpse. A death is final..no coming back, ever. you loved him more than he loved you and that's what hurts the most. strength comes from within NOT from being part of someone else...I would say to you he isn't worth it, dying for, he really isn't. dig deep, really deep even when you don't want to and show him what a muppet he is losing you, not wanting YOU, his loss. fight back by being better brighter and even more lovely let him see who you are even when the chips are down!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2006): Gosh I too am in a similar situation. Its so awful and ut feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But they do say that living well is the best revenge. As far as rebounds go, it is not fair to drag someone innocent into the mess left behind by your broken relationship, so avoid getting stuck in with a new guy. On the other hand, a liason with someone new can boost your confidence and help you realise that there is more than one sexy man in the world.
I'm told that eventually the pain and bitterness eases, but we each have to learn that for ourselves, I guess. As for the anger, allow yourself to feel it rather than taking it within yourself where it will only fester and wreak havoc on future relationships. But when the time is right, release, relax and let it go. When the day comes that you no longer want to punch his lights out, you will be a true survivor and a stronger person. I promise you it will come, for us all. Good luck Babe xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2006): hey, i can understand what you are going through. i am also in a situation like this, each day is hard, worse when you think of how things were and how they became. Please dont ever blame yourself for this. Saying to get over it is so damn easy but when it comes down to actually living thru a heartbreak, i can only wish it doesnt happen to anyone else. just believe in yourself. i loved and lost. but i learnt that there is always a silver lining in the dark clouds. good luck
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