A
female
age
36-40,
*adyofdoom
writes:My partner of two years broke up with me because he got addicted to his computer game, his computer in general his world was the game. His friend got him totally addicted to it as soon after we spent a night at his friends house in North wales. I bought him the game thinking no harm would come to our relationship because he was working etc and we were hardly at home. Our relationship was very strong, we spoke about marriage, children and settling down in general, we were true love, soul mates and best friends. I was even pregnant with his child last year.But when he lost his job his addiction got bad, he use to be on the computer from 8am to 9pm and he hardly spoken to me or gave me any attention but he allways say he loved me etc bt every time we had any moments together his best friend would always call and talk about their computer game non stop. Unlucky his best friend didnt like me because he use to have thing for me, so he has always wanted to break us up.He did a runner and lied to my whole family especially me, he went back to his home in crewe just to play his computer game in quiet. By the time he had got home I was banned from talking to him. He broke up with me because apparently he didnt feel anything for me but I wander if its true I hope soon he realizes what he's lost. I really want something good to happen through this moment of time as we do belong together.After everything, do you think there's any change of him changing, ingoring his best friend? I really want him back so much, because I know he loves me.
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female
reader, Ladyofdoom +, writes (21 March 2009):
Ladyofdoom is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis mother already knows about the addiction, but well she's as bad as her son.
His best friend knows about the addiction but denies any knowledge of it.
His other friends in Cheshire wouldnt stop me at all because we are all friends, and well would do anything for me as they reckon his whole situation has become out of control. Because he's addicted to the computer game does that mean he properly does still love me but dosen't what reality is anymore?
I will turn up in a few months and surprise him, I dont know where whether at his house or a pub but I want to make sure he's melts at point of seeing me
(sorry my spelling correct version)
A
female
reader, Ladyofdoom +, writes (21 March 2009):
Ladyofdoom is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis mother already knows about the addiction, but well she's as bad as her son.His best friend knows about the addiction but denies any knowledge of it. His other friends in Cheshire wouldnt stop me at all because we are all friends, and well would do anything for me as they reckon his whole situation has become out of control. Because he's addicted to the computer game does that mean he properly does still love me but dosen't what reality is anymore?I will turn up in a few months and surprise me, I dont know where whether at his house or a pub but I want to make sure he's melts at point of seeing me.
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A
male
reader, Mr Me  +, writes (21 March 2009):
 Yeah, I hate MMORPGS because they can cause addiction so easily.
I would agree that it's a good idea to run to his house and talk to him in person. That way his friend can't stop you (obviously do it unannounced) or "delete" what you say. Also, since he is showing signs of addiction, you may want to talk to the parents and see if you can't do an intervention.
Just a couple more ideas. I'm sure someone else might have some more for you :D
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A
female
reader, Ladyofdoom +, writes (21 March 2009):
Ladyofdoom is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes its World of Warcraft, I hate the game. He already knows he's addicted to the game but his best friend is making him worse as they both play it.
I have tried to email and text him but he wont talk to me at all as his friend deletes everything of mine. I mean he broke up with me via a nasty text on the phone.
I was actually thinking of getting my life back on track for the moment and for me to do what makes me happy and well for randomly just turn up in his home town in a few months or something. I know he loves me deep down but his game and his friend has ruined him. so i guess I have to make him re fall in love with me, but the me he fell in love with originally. I know that I'm his weakest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): It is an addiction...plain and simple. And sadly, what matters most to him right now is that online gaming is far more important to him than anything or anyone else. He is a full-blown 'internet addict'. Some people argue it's not possible, but it is. It sounds like you have discussed this and confronted him and still no changes took place. Perhaps in five months or five years, he may admit to a problem--we don't know. The only way you can have decent chance at having a relationship with him again is for him to admit, he might have a problem and he stays completely away from computers and the internet. Pretty hard to do, in this technological climate where computers and the internet are everywhere. I know you love him but I also think you have a bleak future with him. There is not much that can be done. He will do anything to be on that computer, playing. You have lost the battle here. Basically, he doesn't have time to work at the relationship as he feels lost and he feels very empty when he's not on-line.
Now what about you? You and have broke up. He's done-gone.So your bf isn't the problem anymore here. I really think the problem is the way you remember how things were, 'before' this internet addiction. You are clinging to this ideal fantasy of what you shared, a long time ago. You need to deal with the reality of what he became and that is a very lost, uncaring, person. Something he chose to do. So please...stop trying to recapture a phantom and get moving into the future. You can feel whole again, but first you must let go of the past and say a final good bye to him.
Please check the following link:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Internet_and_Computer_Addiction.html
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A
male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (21 March 2009):
Sounds like he has an addiction. Yes, I am a huge video gamer myself (I play a lot, but only when I'm not with my girlfriend or can't talk to her).
My guess is that it's an MMORPG (World of Warcraft, Everquest, etc.) and people can seriously get addicted to those games. If you can't get to him on the phone, I would try a more electronic form of communication such as texts or emails. Those he can read and choose to reply to. Try to convince him that he needs to reduce the amount that he plays (not stop, just reduce) to find another job. And, once you get him to do that, try to convince him to stay with you. You've been with him for 2 years now, so I think you have a pretty good idea how to get into his head and get your message heard.
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