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He's with someone new and I can't stand it!

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So I dated this guy on and off for over 5 years, since I was 18. He was my first everything and I've always felt a special connection with him. We had our problems, including me not trusting him, and we fought a lot, so we weren't always stable. We've been broken up officially for a while but still hung out together. I know it was wrong to do that, but I didn't think much of the consequences. He's been trying to convince me to get back together for months, and I've felt it my heart that we weren't right together and decided not to be with him again.

The last time I saw him was a few weeks ago, and the last time we talked he said he still loved me. Well, I recently saw pictures of him with his new girlfriend (not by choice), and it's absolutely eating me alive. I never thought I would feel this way, because I haven't really been in love with him for a while. I spoke to him the other day and he said he's been dating her for two weeks. How could be have been so in love with me yet have moved on so quickly? I've been crying every day since I found out, and I can't seem to get the images out of my head. It's really killing me that he could be loving someone else, and though there is a man in my life that I have been somewhat interested in, I'm finding that I have no desire to be around him now. I feel like a horrible person. I know that I don't want him back, at least I think I know. I just don't know what to do. I hate to think of him as only being a memory, because we meant so much to each other. I've been trying to move on and get over him for a year and I have't been able to. Is this because I'm still in love with him, is it because I don't want anyone else to have him, or because I haven't met anyone else that I'm interested in? I feel like I deserved this because I pushed him away and I really hate myself now. Please help?!

View related questions: get back together, move on, no desire

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009):

Question 1... do u think the girl is prettier than you?? Cuz that can be a bigggg deal. Even if u don't realize it.

Not to be harsh, but I think u definitely messed up. What I would suggest is... u really sit down face to face with him, & tell him how u really feel. But first u have to find out what u want. (2 weeks is nothing, but don't push it). 2 weeks will turn into 2 months. Don't be selfish, if u love him.. Go after him, if it's a jealousy thing, move on... you can't play with people's hearts cuz you'll end up feeling even worse.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for u!*

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