A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When I met my wife I was mesmerized by her beauty and brains. Somewhere over the last 20 years, although she is just as beautiful, she has lost all of her wits. She throws tantrums after not being able to figure out the most mundane things like printing a report. She needs my help for simple things like staking flowers in her garden. Frankly, I am overwhelmed. I thought I had a partner and instead I feel I have a child. Tonight she cooked us tuna steaks and she had no idea what the avocado/tomato relish she made was for. When I asked her she became angry at me. Well, I'd love to help but I had no idea what she had in mind with it. When I told her "I have no idea, you should know" she blew a fuse.I do not think she has Alzheimer's or something like that. I think part of it is that she's always been sort of on the slower side and I am just now becoming sick of it. However, she seems to be getting worse and worse. She doesn't work, did not finish college (just a few units short), and I spend an inordinate amount of time taking care of the household. At least we have no children. How can I tactfully suggest she be evaluated for mental conditions or even disease? Half the time I wish to leave her, because I cannot continue on taking care of us both. She is stressing me to death.
View related questions:
flowers Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DuchessDucky +, writes (1 December 2012):
My mom had the same problem. I could still see her intelligence shine through in her writing. She had no problem expressing herself or figuring things out if she were to write it on paper. Turns out my mother has a very serious vitamin B deficiency. Get her to a physician. Get through her pride and find a way to get her to a doctor. Even if your marriage doesn't work out, someone needs to make sure it isn't a serious health issue. Ad sometimes relationships just end. It IS okay.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2012): Visit your family doctor together. Your doctor can determine what could be wrong and refer you to the right specialist to diagnose and treat your wife.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 June 2012):
 Have you considered that she "plays" dumb or helpless in order to spend more time with you? To get more attention?
Does she have a close female friend? Maybe if you can talk to a friend the friend can bring it up, IF she sees the same things as you do.
...............................
A
female
reader, Beaniepants +, writes (2 June 2012):
 It doesn't really sound like she's "dumb", but she has something going on. She sounds unhappy. You sound unhappy also. Have you thought about marriage counseling?? Don't "tactfully suggest" she gets evaluated for mental disease, unless you want her to blow another fuse, lol Sit down and gently bring up the subject of counseling for you both, So she doesn't feel attacked, and let's face it, you could probably use someone to talk to also- a neutral third party. there's no shame in it for either of you. Good luck =)
...............................
A
female
reader, neomum  +, writes (2 June 2012):
she needs to see a doctor A.S.A.P
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 June 2012):
 What an enlightened guy, and a great partner!!! MOST of us guys, enduring what you've described, would walk away and never look back. YOU, on the other hand, are such a great guy that you are looking to determine what the heck is going on... and can you contribute to any correction or repair that might be necessary....That said... Can you find some way to suggest that your wife get to her MD and have a thorough exam? We can never be really sure WHAT is going on within us.... and, perhaps, there is something biological that is causing her behaviour... that which you've described...Good luck.... She's a lucky woman to have a hubby like you....
...............................
|
