A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in college and living with 4 other girls..two of which are my best friends...however, one of them I am very very close with and she knows everything about me and I know everything about her. She is by far my very best friend. Only one problem..I am in love with her. I have never had feelings for another girl before. I get jealous whenever she talks to guys. I even get jealous when she doesn't sit next to me or seems like she likes my other roommate more than me. Every move she makes I think about it in my head, but everything she does I absolutely love...she recently started dating a guy and I cannot help it but I get sooo upset when she goes to hang out with him. And it is the absolute worst when she comes back and tells me about her night and it is the worst hearing about their sex life... I could win an Oscar for the way I act how excited I am for her when in actuality I wish that person she talks about was me. I don't know what to do; I feel like I am going insane... What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): It's difficult to say whether you should tell her or not because she may find it just too weird and distance herself, or she might feel the same way about you too, or maybe start to think about you in that way. However, I wouldn't tell her just yet, but in the meantime maybe test the water a bit, find out how she feels about gay/bisexual people (in a subtle way of course). Another thing I tend to do is say 'who would you date if you were a guy?' but I used that when I was a bit younger, don't know if it sounds a bit childish, but it's an interesting way of testing.I've had experience in this situation - my friend and I don't really talk anymore, and now I kind of regret telling her because things could have been just the same. But as I said it's difficult to say. Do what feels right for you in the end!Best of luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): DO NOT TELL HER! In an ideal world, if you told her she will either: a) Also profess her love for you, or b) Tell you she loves you as a friend only and try to put it both behind you.
But in real life, I'm sure most people would say that she will be weirded out. If she's dating a guy and bragging about her sex life, she's straight! Don't make it weird.
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A
male
reader, gunnerlil  +, writes (9 September 2009):
Simple. Tell her. That is the only way to put your mind at rest. You never know, she might actually feel the same. If she has just started dating some guy it wont be love. If you tell her it can go two ways: She'll either feel the same and you'll live happily ever after; she wont feel the same, but she'll understand and try not to flaunt her date so much. Either way as she is your best friend I think she'll understand, and then at least she knows, usually when you hear things like that it makes you think about if you love someone back, it just sometimes takes the actions of someone else to make you think about it.
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