A
female
age
36-40,
*dttjulie
writes:Hello I am 21 he is 34...In september of 2008 I started to think I liked my coworker we were both having issues with our partners, I was having serious problems with my husband abusing me and he was having problems with his GF. So that created a little spark having something in common, we worked together for 5 years, he is mexican I am american and never thought about us being together before... I left to have a baby I had a girl Dec of 08 and went back to work in march. Sparks flew even more... One day after work I asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner just as friends nothing was said about a date but we were both head over heels by that point and kept our mouths closed. So we went to ihop and I was uncomfortable thinking people are looking at us he is mexican I am american I always wanted an american man... Well I soon got over it because all that mattered was our happiness not the oppinions of others. So we worked it out that we were going to drink together and planned on a hotel 2beds so we didnt have to drive. We both knew if we went into this hotel we were going to have sex and niether of us admitted feelings that we liked each other before this. I will never forget the anxiety in my car thinking should i or should i not go lol. Well we went together and drank and had sex of coarse. I was late for work that day lol. Went to work still drunk haha him too. After that we got serious, started saying I love you and spent as much free time together as possible. In june/july I got a restraining order against my husband and was 100% there for my coworker. He still had his GF :(... I tried to ignore it because I understood 100% the situation but it hurt knowing he cant come home with me but he has been over several times for dinner with my mom he has done some work around my house to help out even built my daughter an addition so her room is bigger. In september things started to get shaky because I began to get needy and wanted him to be mine all mine... In november it mostly ended and I started seeing someone a great guy he is my boyfriend now but he isnt my mr perfect, he enjoys my kids my kids like him he has a good job and takes care of us buys us things we need and has the time to spend with us. I feel I am settling because all I ever think about is my coworker... Although the situation is not ideal we are still so very much in love and im hoping one day he will leave her and be with me. I would do anything to have him in my life, he is perfect for me. This isnt much of a question but more of a story with the ending still being written. If you have anything to say please do comment tell me what you think.
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co-worker, drunk, I love you, spark Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): I am a single mom, 42, ks, of three wonderful boys and i am going through something so similar. I am really sorry to see that this new guy has not worked out. But hun please look at what everyone else wrote. Everyone stated this guy is bad news and look at yourself. U are married. Both of u guys obviously were not ready one bit. So what are u looking to do now. Are u following through with this divorce? There are many people. Especially guys out there that are pigs, but believe me when i say this. I was falling in love with someone else myself and he had everything but for some odd reason he just didnt complete me. He didnt lie or anything like that, I just didnt feel anything like the love and affection i had with my husband. I left my husband for three years, with a restraining order and at time to time met up for a fling. I loved the way he loved me. I didnt feel that with this new guy. I am thinking i left this man for three years and stilll today he still cares and loves me just like day one. I just dont get it. So i talk it out with other married men and everyone said the same thing. The last thing a guy wants to do is marry. When they marry they give everything away for this one women who they want to spend there life with. And thats how i started to realize. We might of had some marital problems but all this drama i put towards him and still when we meet up he still loves me just like day one. I am not telling u what to do one bit but I went to him one day unexpectedly and hugged him in surprise and said i love u and I am ready to be yours. I said I trust u wont hurt me and i know and see u have been the same guy that loved me since our first date. Since then I have been so happy and I saw your profile and thought iI could throw my story out there. I want u to choose for what best for u. If u do follow with moving on please be smart. Remember. You guys have children together. :)If u like to chat feel free to email me at [email address blocked]. PS Keep your head up and do what best for your kids and yourself most importantly.
A
female
reader, mdttjulie +, writes (27 April 2010):
mdttjulie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK I am the one who posted this.. just an update... the new guy that is "crazy" for me.. turned out to be engaged since 08 his fiance was living out of state... he had another gf AND i caught him in a lie he suppositly had a business trip and took a random girl to his place that weekend... now the one who i am crazy in love with, i am really having doubts now and i need to listen to you guys... all lies why the hell are men liars!
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 If he's lying to his girlfriend, and cheating on his girlfriend, that proves that he isn't trustworthy. Even if he WERE to leave his girlfriend for you, getting involved with this guy would mean setting yourself up for pain and heartbreak. He can't be trusted! Why would you want someone like that?
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 "we are still so very much in love"????? (mdttjulie)
He's not married at the moment. He has a girlfriend who he is cheating on, he lies to her whilst he ran arround having sex with you. If he loves you so much, why dosen't he leave her, wait for you to get divorced and then get married to you?
Sounds like a man who is having his cake and eating it too... Two women willing to have sex with him, and he dosen't have to committ and marry either one of them. A few love words, and they are both willing to hang arround and wait.
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A
female
reader, _Katy_Did_ +, writes (17 February 2010):
 If he really felt as strongly as you say he does he would have left his girlfriend to be with you. That's all there is to it. Not to mention, he cheated on his girlfriend. That doesn't say good things about his character either. Who says he wouldn't do that to you? I think you should just forget about him(or try) and put your heart into this new man who obviously cares about you and your family very much. Or don't. You don't have to settle for this new guy but don't throw your whole life into a spiral chasing after this coworker who dates two women at the same time. Throw this coworker out of the picture. He isn't going to work out in the end.
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