A
male
age
36-40,
*tef86
writes:im 24 and last year i started to have feelings for men its been over a year now and i have done nothing about it cuz i dont know what to do plus what makes it worse i think is the fact that i have never had sex with anyone. can anyone help me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, needs help wit boys +, writes (23 June 2010):
it's easy to come out wit friends and if ur un sure about it. Just the test my friend did and he is gay. Get a friend that is a girl and see wat happens wen she dances on a pole or sumtin.dont let it go to far thow. Is you get exsited then you my be by or straight. Try this same thing wit a dude and see wat happens. Good luck just reminber that wen you find out just tell ur friend and in time tell others.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): 'i dont feel anything for woman and the idea of being with a man is exciting and cant wait for my first time but do u think i should do something with a woman'...
by all means feel free to do so, but I just wonder: why would you want to, if you don't feel anything for them sexually? Just to make sure you've 'failed' at the heterosexuality that 'normal' society expects of everyone? Go to bed with a woman and not get aroused and not get hard, or somehow get there by pretending it's a man, then go out the next night and and get what you really need?
(You never see straight guys on DC declaring 'I'm 100% straight and have no interest in men but should I have sex with one before I go for it with a woman?')
You should absolutely try something with a woman if you meet one and are both attracted and want to take it further. You're 25!!! As Jeff8 says: 'Stop worrying and just get yourself laid. Now. Man. Woman. Anybody.'
I think you should try both - it's up to you in which order - but if you are truly gay and don't find women sexually exciting, please don't expect your hetero experience to be anything other than a let-down for both parties and a confirmation that the opposite sex is unlikely to ever fulfil your sexual needs.
Best of luck
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A
male
reader, Jeff8  +, writes (23 June 2010):
Please don't wait till you're 25 to find out what team you're playing with. You've already wasted years.. Stop worrying and just get yourself laid. Now. Man. Woman. Anybody. And please don't give me that line about not knowimg what turns you on. Like all the rest of us, you've been spanking the monkey once a week for the past ten years. So what or who do you fantasize about just before you cum? You can lie to yourself but not to your dick...
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A
female
reader, supersteph +, writes (19 June 2010):
stef86:
I agree with everything AvgGuy1 said. Plain and simple.
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A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (15 June 2010):
 I started realizing that I was gay LONG before I actually DID anything about it. In fact I, initially, didn't WANT to be so I tried dating girls for the longest time. I just never worked out. Then when I got to college, I started having crushes on guys. Eventually, after college, once I was working I finally met and dated several guys which in turn helped me 'come out', first to myself, and finally to others - usually when they asked. I've never really been one of the in-your-face types... about anything. My point is... if you are GAY or BI finally coming to grips with it doesn't happen over night. It sounds like you've finally said to yourself... "I'm gay". This is the first step in the whole process. Each person's path is different. I would recommend, going to gay bars if there are any in your area or getting an account/user id on one of the large gay dating sites. You could even post a Craigs List ad.Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, justaguy1992  +, writes (13 June 2010):
"supierstep: Explore how you feel about both sexes and your gender identity as well. For instance, do you sometimes act a little girly? Exploration about your feelings and attractions and acceptance of then key here."
i realy agree on this
i think you shud see what just makes you happy and what makes you atracctive to.
good luck.
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A
male
reader, stef86 +, writes (13 June 2010):
stef86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u for ur answer it has something for me to think about and i have dated girls before this and i dont feel anything for woman and the idea of being with a man is exciting and cant wait for my first time but do u think i should do something with a woman.
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A
female
reader, supersteph +, writes (13 June 2010):
Hey. That's a tough situation. Exploring your sexuality can be really great or really bad. Do you feel you have no attraction to women? Is it only males you're attracted to? Have you tried dating a woman? A man? If you look at naked people, are you attracted to just the male? If you are only attracted to males, that's perfectly OK. Coming to terms with that may be hard, depending on your upbringing and life but you can accept it with time. Have you considered that because you have never had sex with anyone before it's only BECAUSE of lack of sex you feel attracted to men? You may even be bi-sexual. That's perfectly OK, too. It means even MORE fish in the sea for you. Explore how you feel about both sexes and your gender identity as well. For instance, do you sometimes act a little girly? Exploration about your feelings and attractions and acceptance of then key here. I wish you nothing but luck!
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